Doc sucked in a sharp breath. “What were you thinking? We agreed that we wouldn’t bond with her until she was ready. She said she wasn’t ready.”
Doc’s fists were clenched, and I knew that, had he been a different man, he would have broken my jaw.
Bat had gone completely still, his body freezing and his mouth opening, but he didn’t say anything.
“It was an accident.” My ability to speak had finally returned. “We were in the heat of the moment and you don’t know what magic feels like… I lost control.”
I didn’t mention any of my visions or the feeling that Ihadto bond her.
“What are we going to do?” Storm asked no one in particular as he ran a hand through his hair with frustration.
“I’m going to stay,” Juneau’s voice filled the living room and everyone turned to find her crouched on the stairs. She’d wrapped a blanket around herself before leaving her nest, so all I could see was her head popping out of the top of the bundle.
Doc hurried up the stairs and scooped her up into his arms, returning to the couch and keeping her cuddled into his lap. I felt an immediate spike of jealousy rip through me at the sight, my inner-alpha angry that someone was touching my omega so soon after our bonding.
I pushed the feelings down deep. I’d already screwed up enough, I didn’t need to add unearned possessiveness to the list.
“I’m so sorry, Juneau,” I managed to croak when her blue eyes found mine. I could feel the confusing mix of her emotions through our fresh bond. Uncertainty, attraction, warmth, and an overwhelming sense of grief.
“It’s all right,” she said, her voice small as she let Podcast pull her hand into his. “I wasn’t expecting the magic to react like that either.”
‘He still shouldn’t have done that,’Podcast signed before bringing her hand to his lips. I knew that despite his anger, there was just the tiniest bit of happiness inside of the omega’s emotions because she was staying.
Juneau shrugged. “Truth be told, I was already planning on staying, I just hadn’t said anything yet.”
“Then why are you crying, sugar?” Bat asked quietly from Doc’s other side as he brushed away her tears with his thumb.
“Am I?” Juneau wiped at her cheeks with her hands, glaring at the moisture on her fingers. “I don’t know why.”
I crouched down in front of her, ignoring the glares from the rest of my pack. “I should never have taken the choice away from you, regardless of the magic. I can feel your grief, princess.”
Juneau’s expression crumbled and she put her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I want to be with you all, but with that comes the realization that my family has been gone for decades.” Her words were muffled by hitching sobs that just about killed me.
I wish I had the power to turn back time and fix my mistakes, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I was meant to bond with her, that Ineededto.
“I kept telling myself that they weren’t dead and that I would see them again,” Juneau continued. “But I won’t, will I? They’re gone and I have to grieve for all of them at once.”
We sat in silence, letting her cry while Doc and Podcast rubbed soothing circles into her back. Eventually she fell asleep again, tears still on her cheeks.
“I’ll be honest,” Bat whispered so as not to wake her up. “I’m not completely upset that she can’t go back. Her place is here with us.”
‘That wasn’t our choice to make, Bat,’Podcast told him resolutely, but I could feel his agreement through the bond.
“Our arguing is going to have to wait until later,” Doc whisper-growled, his brown eyes turning to me. “As much as I hate to say it, she needs you the most right now. I’ll be damned if you give her a lopsided bond because you didn’t take all the steps because you feel bad. Take her back up to her nest while I try to figure out all of the bullshit you’ve caused.”
I nodded, swallowing heavily as I pulled the bundle from his arms and headed silently for the stairs.
I knew Podcast was following closely behind me. His eucalyptus scent tinged with sorrow wafted around me as I opened the door to the nest and was confronted by the scent of sex and lemon pound cake.
‘Let me get this all cleared out, she’ll want a fresh nest to wake up in,’Podcast signed before collecting the piles of sex-soiled materials. I laid Juneau down on the bare mattress and went to help. I let Podcast put new nesting materials into my outstretched arms, piling them high.
“PC, I am sorry,” I said, wishing he’d just look at me for a minute.
Podcast sighed, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck where my mark was. I’d bonded them both in the same spot, twin marks tying us together forever.‘I wanted her to stay, is it horrible of me to be happy about this?’
I shook my head. “No, it’s not. Let me bear the brunt of the guilt for this. I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making it up to her.”
There was a sparkle in Podcast’s eyes but it was gone in a blink.‘What if the rest of our lives are short? We’ve pulled her into all of our shit, we could be dead next week if Orpheus gets his way.’
