‘Something like that,’ I reply unenthusiastically.
‘What made you interested in stargazing?’he asks.
This question makes my throat burn with the tears that I push back down.If I stand here for one more second with this stranger who somehow knew exactly what to ask to make me face my emotions, I will break down.And I can’t afford to do that right now.Not with the amount of work that is pending for my project.‘Sorry, I have to go now.I’ll leave you with this room.’I turn towards the table to grab my books.
‘No, wait.You clearly had something important to do here.Let me get out of your way,’ he says and walks towards the door.
As the door slowly closes behind him, I stare at the place he stood mere seconds ago, wondering who he was and how I’ve never seen him in this room before.
2
Cooper
The girl with the softbrown eyes is the last thing I remember as I jolt awake from my dream.I can’t stop thinking about her since I saw her in the library.She had an allure, unlike most people.Something about her visiting the library in the dark hours, with a tower of books and knowledge of meteor showers, stirs intrigue in me.The same shadows that I carry lurk within her.It graced her face for a split second when I asked about the reason she is interested in stargazing.How have I not seen her before at the university?Maybe she doesn’t want to be seen.I see myself in her, someone who wants to be invisible to the world.Being visible means having attachments that are always at risk of being severed.
I try to put aside the thought of her for now and leave my bed to get ready for the day.I have about seventy per cent of my final painting left from my course to be completed.A major portion of my time goes into overthinking whether this is the best thing I can do.Nevertheless, I go through the motions of my morning routine and step into the kitchen.A plate lies on top of the kitchen table with a note beside it.
Good morning honey.Unfortunately, I got called into an emergency shift at the A&E, so I had to leave earlier.But I have made some sausage, eggs and toast for you.Please eat before you go.I will see you in the evening when I’m back.Love, Mum.
I lift the lid from the plate and there are two sausages, a sunny-side-up egg and two pieces of toast.She knows exactly how I like it and made sure to have it timed so that it is warm as I come to eat breakfast.
It’s only been my Mum and me for the past eighteen years (since I was five).She never lets me feel like I am alone, but she does get called in for work at odd times and often.She is hardworking and takes her job as a medical worker seriously.She has never missed any of the important days, like my birthday and graduations.She tries her best.I could have moved out for my undergrad studies but I would be leaving her behind.And that didn’t feel right.
I polish off the breakfast, wash the plate, lock the door, and walk to university.On the way I remember that I need to get extra paint for my project.I make a detour to my usual art store that I work in on the weekends – to support them and earn money to save for my future.
The door dings as I push through it and nostalgia washes over me.I have been coming here since I was ten years old – it’s like a second home.I nod at Leo who is at the till, a brief smile on my face acknowledging him.I don’t see him often; he doesn’t work on the weekends, and I usually cover extra shifts on the days when he’s sick.The reason I love this store is that it has been a family-owned business for two decades, and they insist on keeping it that way in order to preserve the history of the store.They always have the best quality supplies.And the staff – Leo and his Dad – constantly make sure that the customers leave satisfied with their time spent inside.Leo’s Dad was kind enough to take me in as a part-time employee when things were hard at home for Mum.
I browse through the colours and find the exact burnt orange paint that I was looking for and take it to the till.‘Just this for today, Leo.’
‘How’s your final project going?’Leo asks enthusiastically, trying to engage in further conversation.Leo always has the brightest smile and an infectious joy.It warms my heart but I don’t bother getting too involved.I know how it ends and I don’t want to put myself in that position.I imagine us being friends sometimes but right now I do hope that Leo has good friends who treat him well.
‘It’s going good.’I stick to a short but polite answer.I don’t want him to feel bad.His face falls a little but I don’t let it affect me.He quickly scans the paint tube and calls out the total.‘That’ll be £11.50 please.’I pay for it and thank him before leaving the store.
As I am about to walk into the building I spot someone at the corner of my vision.It’s the same wavy black hair from yesterday.I turn towards the side to confirm my suspicion that it’s the girl from the library as she stands near the truck that sells hot drinks.My brain prompts me to walk towards her but I fight it and imagine that my feet have turned to cement because I can’t be entirely sure if I want to risk getting to know her and ...But my curiosity gets the better of me and I walk towards her, hoping to get my question from yesterday answered.
