‘So ...um ...’My voice cracks already.‘I lost my brother last year,’ I say the words out loud for the first time to someone else.Most of the time, I don’t even let myselfthinkabout it but it is finally time to address it.I can’t keep Apollo alive in my head by refusing to accept that he is dead.Gone.No longer within the reach of my hands.No longer a wall apart at home.My eyes water.I look at the ground, not wanting to look at Cooper.I won’t be able to keep it together if he looks at me.
Cooper squeezes my hand as a reminder that he is right here and he has been right here to listen to me talk, like always.He guides us to a bench right next to the toppling telephone booths for us to sit on.Once we sit down, I stop crying, and it turns to sniffles.Cooper is sitting there patiently waiting for me to talk and is also holding a tissue for me.His attention hasn’t wavered for a second.He is looking at me; he is present, there is no denying it.
‘Do you still feel like talking about it?’he asks.
I nod my head and proceed.‘He was my best friend, two years older than me, but I never felt a difference because he was always willing to do whatever it was that I wanted to do.He was a talented guitarist; he had the power to excite the calmest minds yet he put to sleep the chaotic ones.But two years back, he had an accident while he was rock climbing when he slipped and fell, which caused nerve damage to his hands.He couldn’t play anymore.He wanted to go to Trinity, but his dreams were shattered.And one day he just—’
I pause for a second; it is hard to speak through the thickness in my throat.Cooper rubs the skin of my hand in a rhythm – automatically calming my nervous system.I continue.‘One day, he took his own life, and that was it.My parents’ hearts broke, but they try so hard to stay strong for me.Honestly, they both kept each other from entirely fading away.I was empty after that; my soul left with Apollo.He was my sunlight; there is no moon without the sun.’The tears flow rapidly down my cheeks, droplets racing each other.‘I wanted to talk to someone, to fall apart in someone’s arms because I couldn’t burden my parents further.I had Charlie, my best friend from when I was five.But he left.He couldn’t handle me when I was grieving; he only wanted the version of me that was happy.’
Cooper’s eyebrows were creased tightly, his eyes glistening with tears but not falling.‘I couldn’t talk to anyone again, except my parents.I lost my brother and my best friend; it is a wound that still runs deep within me.I isolated myself and focused on studies ...Until you found me,’ I say as I look at Cooper with a smile on my face and eyes full of tears.A sliver of joy coexists with my pain and I want to hold on to that.
Cooper’s hand leaves mine – a loss that I mourned silently – and cups my cheek.He wipes the tears with the pad of his thumb.‘Thank you for finding me, Cooper,’ I add.
‘Hey, there is nothing to thank me for.If anything, I need to thank you.You helped me, too.Thank you for telling me about your brother, and I’m sorry you had to go through that.I hope you know that I will always listen to whatever you have to share with me,’ he says as he looks back and forth between my eyes.
‘I know,’ I say.Cooper’s eyes are locked onto mine, his pupils are overflowing in his iris, like an oil spill in the middle of the ocean.It makes my heart flutter how he always looks at me like he is drinking in the sight of me, learning each of my features and committing them to memory.I look away at something else; tension weighs the air between us.He is still holding my face.
I swallow the nervous energy building within me.‘Cooper?’My eyes fixate on the button in his shirt.
‘Yes, Luna,’ he whispers.
My eyes dart back to his.‘What if I said that you want to kiss me right now?’I ask boldly.I badly want him to kiss me, but I can’t be sure.I protect myself from being disappointed.
A smirk appears on his face.‘Then I’d say that you are making an educated guess,’ he says as he moves closer to my face, his lips hovering next to mine – a breath away.I squeeze my hand, my heart racing, and I inch my mouth forward.The next second, he connects his lips to mine and kisses me so hard that I melt into him.I involuntarily let out a long hum.When we finally pull apart, my eyes widen, and my hand goes over my mouth.I can’t believe I made that sound.My eyes meet his, and we laugh like idiots.
‘Wow,’ he says
I chuckle at his response.‘Wow indeed.’
‘I like you, Luna.I’ve been drawn to you since you dropped all your books at the sight of me.’
I giggle and shake my head.‘I like you too, Cooper.’
‘Would you like to be my girlfriend?’Cooper asks as he pulls on the neckline of his shirt.
‘I thought you’d never ask.’A shy smile coats my lips as I throw my arms over Cooper’s shoulders.
