And since I lost my mom, it’s been nice having her look out for me.
“E, you’re the best. Let me think aboutmaybeallowing you to set me up on a date with one of your mountain men. I guess you’re right. Maybe some dick would do me good. The sex toys are fun, but I’m going to need a warm body soon, or I might go crazy.”
Eve’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and we both stare at each other for a beat before bursting into uncontrollable giggles.
“Okay, let me know when you’re ready. I’ll set you up with some dude who makes your toes curl and your soul briefly leave your body.”
She pauses, then adds with a sly grin, “Or, if you’re feeling adventurous, we can get you a dragon dick. Bad Dragon has awhole collection. Suction cups, color combos, one even glows in the dark.”
I choke on my laugh. “Jesus, Eve.”
“I’m just sayin’. I know people,” she smirks.
I raise a brow, my voice dripping with mock innocence. “Who says I haven’t already … explored my options?”
Eve stares. “Wait … Did you—?”
I shrug and start walking toward the front windows. “Never underestimate a desperate woman with Wi-Fi and a discount code.”
Eve gasps and drops to one knee. “Hail to the Queen of Monsterfuckers. I’m not worthy.”
I cackle and toss her a wink, grabbing the keys off the hook.
“C’mon, perv. Time to open the shop.”
We’re still giggling as we prep the counter, flipping signs and adjusting displays like we didn’t just have an in-depth discussion about tentacle dildos and soul-shattering orgasms.
At exactly 9 a.m., we throw open the doors and welcome the usual wave of Lorewood weird. Hikers come and go all day. Some have been on the trail for weeks or months, while others are just beginning their journey.
If you’d have told me a few months ago I’d be selling gizmos that turn urine into drinkable water, I would’ve told you to fuck off.
And yet, here I am.
I used to code and design websites. I built pretty digital spaces for people who didn’t know what they wanted until they saw it and decided they hated it.
Now, I sell piss filters.
I love coding, and I’m fucking good at it. But between the burnout and the toxic tech bros, I was a mess.
These days? I pour all that into Lilith’s Garden instead.
I built out the entire online shop—designed the layout, uploaded the inventory, even wrote the product descriptions. Hell, I started working on it before I ever set foot in Lorewood.
It’s ready. Has been. I’m just waiting on Eve to give me the green light.
In the meantime, it keeps my brain from going stale without dragging me back into a cubicle, forcing me to use a Keurig no one’s bothered to clean since Obama’s first term, and a slow death via Teams notifications and calendar invites titled “quick sync.”
Between nerding out over the website and chatting with hikers about which lightweight bidet attachment would complete their Appalachian experience, the day flies by.
It seems like more and more people want to disconnect and explore the Trail.
“Where did all these people come from?” Eve sighs as she throws herself into a pile of sleeping bags.
“Don’t even think about making me clean that up.”
I rest my hands on my hips and glare at the grinning blue-haired pixie.
“It’s been a day, that’s for sure,” murmurs Eve from the floor. “Do you want to grab a drink once we close up?”
