Besides, Ezra is clingy enough for the both of us.
The chaos kept me distracted for a while, but now? The silence is starting to itch.
After several days packed with assault and attempted murder, revelations, spell reversals, heated moments with Ezra, and almost killing a vampire, the last few days have been dull in comparison.
Louie refuses to wear pants and loses her shit over almost everything humans have to do every day, so I haven’t felt comfortable making plans with Eve and Thane. And I have no clue what I would come home to if I leave Lou alone for a few hours.
The only part of being human Louie enjoys? Using the bathroom.
So thank Lilith for small miracles.
Despite all her griping, hanging out with Louie has been kind of great—mostly because of her completely batshit stories about Hell. Her memories haven’t fully returned yet, but every day it feels like she’s a little more whole.
And the way she describes Hell? It sounds … safe. A place Lucifer carved out for the ones the world cast aside. Which makes no sense and somehow makes perfect sense.
“What about all the evil souls who live there?” I ask while I braid her long blonde-and-black hair one evening. “Isn’t that scary? Aren’t they tortured? Doyoutorture them?”
Ezra mentioned Hell wasn’t what humans thought, but I didn’t realize he meant this.
A home for the strange, the lost, and the ones the world gave up on.
A place that sounds more like a sanctuary than a punishment.
Not what I pictured, but I’m intrigued.
“Nah, see, you’ve got it all wrong, love.” Louie shakes her head. “Hell’s not for evil souls. The truly wicked? They get erased. Wiped clean in Purgatory until there’s nothing left. The rest of us? We get to live. Hell’s like Heaven’s rebellious little sister. Only way more fun, and without the bullshit entry requirements.”
Add that to the growing list of things the church got hilariously wrong.
“Why? It can’t be that hard to get into Heaven, can it?”
“You ever hear those fire-and-brimstone preachers say Hell is full of sinners? Bullshit. If you so much as sneeze the wrong way, Heaven won’t take you. Maybe you loved the wrong person—at least by their standards. Maybe you made a choice no one should have to make. Maybe you survived the only way you knew how,and that didn’t fit their rules. Doesn’t matter. You don’t meet their standards? You’re out. But Hell opens its arms.”
Louie flicks a stray hair from her face.
“That’s why Lucifer fell. Not because he was ‘evil,’ but because he saw how rigged the system was. Heaven slammed the gates on anyone who wasn’t perfect, so he made a place for them instead. The souls in Hell aren’t ‘damned.’ They’re the ones who deserved peace but got denied it. And trust me, once people see what Heaven’s really like, plenty of them pick Hell instead.”
Louie doesn’t even look at me. Just picks her nails like she didn’t just rewrite religion.
“Those Bible-thumping Christians say all sorts of stuff is sinful, but honestly, as long as you’re not intentionally hurting an innocent human, or animal, you’re entitled to a peaceful afterlife. Yeah, Hell can be a little debaucherous at times, but the entertainment? Top-notch.
“Lucifer’s light, I fucking miss Kink n’ Brunch. Where else can you get head and eggs Benedict at the same damn time? Technically, there are others, but Kink n’ Brunch has better hollandaise and hotter staff.”
She chuckles, then shoots me a knowing look.
“And before you ask, no, there aren’t any kids in Hell. I could feel you loading that question. Those who die young … well … they go somewhere special.”
That’s … actually reassuring.
Also, ‘Kink n’ Brunch’? What, do they have some indie smut author naming the restaurants in Hell?
“‘Course, if you ever get bored …” Louie waves a hand, like this is common knowledge. “You can always request reincarnation. Most folks don’t want to go back to Earth. It’s beautiful there. I hope you get to see it someday.”
“Goddamn. Billy Joel was right.”
“Eh, it’s not that impressive. Billy Joel’s a fallen demon. Ran away from Hell to live a human life. Absolute coward. He knows damn well the souls in Hell aren’t sinners,” Louie says in a bored tone.
Wait. Billy Joel is a fucking demon?
