"I'm just a fuck-up who decided to do better," Sin told him. "I'm not the man you want."
"You hear what Zan said?"
"Which part?"
"She's an angel in her mind. Damn, Sin. God works in mysterious ways, right? You named us after the angels who fell from heaven to be with humans on earth! Now you have an overly educated young man telling you the girl you're here to protect is anangel?Wake the fuck up, man. God can't really make it any more clear."
"And locking me away with this girl is the answer?" Sin asked incredulously.
Trent shrugged. "Maybe? She's the only one who survived the wipe, and it only made her more human. She has the answers. She has the need." Trent stood and smiled. "Think about it, Brother, but I'll leave you with this. Her mind, your faith?—"
Sin grunted, not liking where this was going.
"—I don't think you can get closer to God than that," Trent continued. "I think you need to put aside your own pride andstart listening. Even if it's something you don't expect God to tell you."
While Trent talked, Sin closed his eyes. Rissa's words, that she had faith, were so clear in his head. He felt the hairs on his arms rise. It was too many coincidences too close together.
"Trent?" he asked before the man could walk away.
"Yeah?"
"How can I tell the difference between a sign from God and my own desires?"
His friend sighed. "Faith. I'm sorry, Sin. That's all I can tell you. I've just never seen you like this before."
"I almost kissed her. Out by the car, I mean. I told her she was one of the Fallen now, and," he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, smiling. "It was like my hand had a mind of its own. I meant to ease her away, and instead, I ended up caressing her lips through that cloth mask."
Trent laughed. "You do know that's not a sin, right?"
"Pretty sure it wouldn't be just a kiss, Trent. It surely wouldn't be a damnedchastekiss."
"What does the sixth precept say?"
"'Pleasure of the body should follow pleasure of the heart, not precede it,'" Sin quoted.
Trent nodded. "And what does that mean?"
Sin chuckled. "Trying to make me repeat our initial lessons?"
"No," Trent assured him. "I'm trying to make you question the word of man, and listen to that of God. What do those words reallymean?"
Sin shook his head, refusing to answer the question. He knew what Trent was trying to say. He knew the Fallen would stand behind him even if he chose to break his vows as Davis had. What they couldn't understand was that Rissa wasn't a physical temptation for him. She promised him so much more, but he'd vowed his heart only to God.
"Think she knows how close I am to slipping up?"
"I think we all know this isn't easy for you," Trent said softly. "You think this is going to be a problem?"
Sin shoved his fingers through his hair and pulled his knees to his chest. "Yeah, Trent, I do. When we were waiting for you? I couldn't stop thinking she's like a damned angel, but I swore my heart to God. There's a definite line there somewhere, but fuck if I know where it is."
"Figure it out," Trent said. "Sleep on it, think about it, but ask yourself why that word keeps coming up. Three times? Four?"
Angel. Yeah, he knew. But that wasn't the part he was worried about. So he asked, "Are we meant to fail?"
"Depends on how you define fail. Have a good night, Sin."
With that, Sin was alone, sitting on the cold floor with a bottle of soda in his hands and the image of a woman in his mind. Trent wasn't perfect, none of them were, but he'd always carried a wisdom Sin respected. Since Rissa had stepped into his life, everything had started changing around him. Nothing he could do would stop it.
There was no way to deny something was going on with the Legion. They had gained a more corporate mentality in recent months—nearly a year now—and abandoned all of the reasons why he'd given his life into service. The people around him had not been lifted up from their hardships. If anything, it had only gotten worse. Now, this? Rissa had just shown him a chemical that might cure him and so many others of their dependence on expensive drugs, allowing them to repair their bodies without the repercussions.
