“Trust me, you don’t wanna be around that guy, and you don’t wanna become that guy. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Not even your dad turned into that angry, bitter old man, but that doesn’t mean you won’t if you’re not careful. There are plenty of ways to hurt the people who love you without physically hurting them, if you see what I mean.”
I know she’s talking about Silas, but when I try to say anything about it, it’s like my throat clenches shut.
“You seem like a sweet kid, Cade. And you’ve got somebody who loves you. Don’t let that go if you can help it.”
I huff, forcing myself to keep it light.
“Hey, you’re like, five years older than me, max. I don’t think you can really call me a kid.”
“Yeah, well I’ve still got all my body parts intact and you’re the one who bruised his brain and punctured his lung going bike riding at night, so I’ll call you whatever I want.”
Valid. Everything hurts right now, and I’m acutely aware of my own shameful, self-centered stupidity.
“So, what? You were just sent here by the heavens to dispense your street-walker wisdom and show me the error of my ways?”
The fingers that were previously stroking my hair pause to flick me on the nose. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make me feel like a scolded puppy.
“Don’t be a smart mouth. You’re not so injured I can’t slap the shit out of you. No, I’m not your fairy fucking godmother, but I am the only person left sitting here, so I thought it was worth a shot. Everything I said is common fucking sense, anyway, not exactly wisdom from the almighty. Which you would see, if you could pull your head out of your ass for a minute. I barely fucking know you and I can see that the solution to a lot of your problems boil down tostop being a dumbass.”
She takes a deep breath, and goes back to stroking.
“Besides. Chances are I fucked my kid up so bad I’ll be lucky if you’re what he grows up to be like. I’m doing my best to cut that shit off at the pass, but I could stand to shore up as much good karma as I can find.”
Again, I’m hit with the urge to cry, and barely hold it back. I’m trying to find an appropriate way to thank her, when familiar voices interrupt.
Mom and Dad, walking towards my room and still bickering with each other, as far as I can tell.
“Oh, shit on a shamrock, you’re awake. Thank god,” Mom says from the doorway before rushing over.
“There he is,” Dad says. “See? Told you he’d snap out of it. He’s a strong kid.”
He doesn’t rush over, but he does step closer, and I tense up without meaning to. I don’t want to look at him yet. I feel like my nervous system is being fried from every angle.
Of course, Krystal is still sitting right next to me, and she’s watching my expression shift with a calculating gaze. She nods at me briefly, and holds my gaze as she raises her voice to talk to him.
“Kyle, my court date got moved up. I gotta get back home, and you promised you’d drive me. We should get out of here. I’m sure the cops have gotten bored of looking for you over some bullshit charges, at this point.”
No one speaks for a second.
“Um, alright I guess. Kid, are you okay if I take off?” he asks me, as if he’s ever been there for me before.
I don’t turn and look at him, keeping my head twisted in Krystal’s direction, squeezing my eyes shut and pushing it into the pillow. My right hand feels functional, at least, so I raise it in the air and wave goodbye at him without a word.
More silence, but everyone seems to eventually get it that I’m not going to say anything to him.
Krystal stands up, making enough rustling noise that it breaks the tension.
“Alright, well. Feel better. Be good to your mother,” is the last thing he says to me, making me huff into the pillow.
He and Mom mutter together for another minute, but I very deliberately don’t listen to what they’re saying.
Once Krystal and Kyle are gone, a lot of pressure eases out of the room, and I can hear Mom approaching me. I still don’t turn around to look at her, though. It’s all too much right now, I just want to lie here, suspended in time.
“Has the doctor or anyone been in since you woke up? I think they wanted to run some tests.”
“No. It’s only been a minute.”
“Alright,” she says. “I’ll get somebody. You hang tight.” She squeezes my shoulder gently before she turns toward the door, probably expecting me to look at her, but I stay as I am.
