Dad’s not the one who started the fight, I was. Even though he obviously deserved it. And it’s not exactly the first time we’ve gotten rough with each other.
I’m an adult now, he’s not wailing on a kid. It shouldn’t feel any different than getting into a fight with some random guy at the bar.
Right?
I can’t do this right now. I need the distraction, and I can tell from the tone of the voices that the girls are worried and Silas is trying to calm them down. They don’t need to freak out over something that’s already over with.
It takes more effort than I expect to throw off the covers and pull myself out of bed. God, I feel like one big bruise. I’ve put my body through a lot of punishment in my life—motocross is not a gentle sport, even when you only do it as an occasional thing—but this shit hurts. Everything throbs in a diffuse, numbing kind of pain, while specific points spark a bright hurt every time I move.
I’m in my underwear, and I decide it’s worth the discomfort of pulling on clothes to make sure the girls see as little as possible of the bruising. I find a pair of Silas’s grey sweats in the hamper that look realistically too clean to wash. I pull them on, where they hang low on my hips. They’re actually not that loose, which makes me think they’re probably way too tight on Silas and he’sbearing the discomfort for the sake of not having to cave and buy new clothes. Again.
I get a clean black Possum Hollow EMS hoody out of the drawer, and putting my arms up to slip it on is the thing that hurt the most so far. Fuck, I think my ribs are bruised. Did they tell me that at the ER? I can’t remember the details, it was all kind of a blur of shame and exhaustion.
As soon as I crack open the bedroom door, I can feel eyes turning toward me. Maddi and Sky are sitting on the old, sagging couch, both of them looking worried and small, like the couch is threatening to swallow them up. Taking one step out of the bedroom is enough to have Sky up and running for me, while Maddi holds her position, an inscrutable expression on her face.
Sky crashes into me, her little arms wrapped around my middle. It knocks the breath clean out of me, and behind her I can see Silas reaching out impotently with a tight expression on his face.
“Sky, careful—” he starts, but I don’t let him finish.
“It’s okay.”
So I maybe get a little dizzy when I reach down to pick her up like she’s a lot smaller than she is, but that’s what the wall behind me is for. I end up leaning against it as Sky clings to me, shoving her snuffling face into my neck, clearly trying to hold back tears.
“Jeez, what a reaction. I’m fine. It was just a fight that got a little out of hand. No biggie.”
My voice comes out just as hoarse as last night, though, and I can see Maddi’s expression as she clocks it.
She looks pissed.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice flat.
I look at Silas, still holding Sky up and leaning against the wall, not totally sure what I’m supposed to say.
I never lied to them about this stuff before, but something tells me the truth will not go down well.
“I ran into Kyle. He was being an asshole, and we got in a fight. It’s not a big deal.”
Maddi’s expression doesn’t change, but for some reason, Silas is the one that’s suddenly glowering at me from across the room.
“What did he do?” Maddi asks, but Silas sighs the second I open my mouth to answer.
“Nothing,” he says, making my gut twist. “Your father didn’t do anything. Cade lost his temper.”
“Jesus, Silas,” I say, my body getting tense with shock. “What the fuck? You were there, you saw what he did.”
Silas rolls his eyes, huffing at me in a way I feel like he’s been doing a lot lately.
“He wasmaybea little snide. Maybe. Or maybe just drunk and not really realizing he was running his mouth. And you tried to fucking kill him. I think that qualifies as you losing your temper.”
“Are you taking his side?” I forget for a second that we’re not alone, as anger bubbles up inside me all over again. I also forget how sore my throat is as I desperately try to push sound out of it. “I should just let him shit all over us like the homophobic asshole that he is?”
“He didn’t even say anything homophobic!” Silas’s arms are spread wide as he stares at me, and I realize with a jolt that this might be the most agitated I’ve ever seen him get around me. It doesn’t feel right.
“Please don’t fight,” Sky wails, clinging tightly around my neck and pressing on all my bruises.
The sensation makes me lightheaded, but it also rolls back the mounting anger I was about to lean into. I bend over, trying to deposit her on the floor without looking like I’m about to pass out.
Her face is blotchy and tear-streaked, and Maddi has shifted from teenage surliness to wide-eyed apprehension, still sitting on the couch.
