No matter how close we get, it’ll never be enough.
32
i’ve been thinking about you
HAYDEN
Wyatt showedup in a black BMW iX. Apparently, the label insisted. I didn’t argue. They know best when it comes to protecting their artists. The paparazzi are still waiting for a juicy shot, for a picture of me with the mysterious woman who’s carrying my child. It’s been a day, but their presence outside my building is already pissing me off.
I drop my head back against the headrest, my hat pulled low. When I woke up this morning and saw Glenn’s email, I was equal parts excited and terrified to listen to the final version of the album. Riley’s presence, her delicious omelet, and her vulnerability colored my white kitchen with so many hues, I almost felt hopeful again. I’ve never felt the kind of protectiveness that kicks in when she’s around. My instincts to keep her safe, to make her happy, go into overdrive. She makes everything lighter, more comfortable. I can fully breathe when she’s around.
I couldn’t have listened to the album with anyone else but her.
It was cathartic. Emotional. Gut-wrenching. I was all over the place when “Never,”the reworked version of Owen’s song, played. He wrote it himself, music and lyrics. Bo, Jimmy, and I added our parts, and I sang the last chorus, since Owen didn’t get it recorded before he left us. I spent two weeks in the studio trying to get it right.
I wanted to kiss Riley so badly when she turned to me, clearly full of the same emotions that flooded me. To feel her lips on mine, her hot breath fanning over my cheek, her skin under my hands—I wanted all of her.
Then, Ines called. I should have been relieved to be interrupted. Instead, I’m full of regret. Not only because I didn’t get to kiss Riley, but because I left her all alone. Sure, she told me to, swearing she’d be fine, but her fake smile didn’t fool me for a second.
And yet, I’m in the car, heading to Ines’ place.
Fuck, I seriously need to be slapped upside the head.
Piper calls on the way, teasing me when I actually answer.
“Sorry about that.” I rub the back of my neck. “Yesterday was too much.”
She chuckles. “Tell me about it.” She takes a deep breath. “So, based on your text, it’s safe to say the news is true?”
My stomach clenches. “Yes.”
“Okay. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here for you. You know I’ll never judge you.”
Apprehension bubbles up inside me. Not even when she finds out I got her little sister pregnant? “I know,” I lie.
“Your mom is freaked out. After what happened with Owen, the news was a bit too much for her. She’s planning to fly out there.”
My heartbeat instantly spikes. “To New York?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Fuck. Please talk her out of it. Now isn’t the time.”
“Why not?”
“B-because this whole situation is complicated,” I ramble. “I don’t need my mom breathing down my neck while I’m trying to figure things out.”
“Who did you knock up? Is it a fan?”
The wordsit’s your little sisterare on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them. Riley wants to wait until she’s twelve weeks along before announcing it to our families, and I want to respect that.
“It’s not a fan, not an ex.” I lick my dry lips. “I’ll tell you everything eventually, just not now.”
She huffs. “Fine. And don’t worry. Hunter doesn’t think it’s a good idea for your mom to go to New York right now either. We’ll talk her out of it.”
“Why does he think it’s a bad idea?”
“Because, and I quote, ‘Hayden is a grown-ass man. Let him deal with his shit himself. When he’s ready, he’ll talk to us.’”
