Could it be because of stress?
I went through the wringer when my dad ended up in the ER, and my worries about Hayden surely don’t help.
It’s possible.
But I know myself too well. I won’t survive tonight without knowing for sure. I need proof it’s not what I’m afraid of.
Panic works its way through me as I rush to Story’s room. When she sees me, her brows knit together.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
“Can I borrow your car? I need to go to the store.”
“Just text Piper. They’re probably still out.”
I shake my head. “It’s better if I go myself.”
She tilts her head. “Can I go with you? You look like you’ve had the scare of your life.”
Not wanting to worry her more than I already have, I agree. At the store, I ask her to pick out snacks, and then I sneak away and throw three tests in my basket, hiding them beneath other items.
The rest of the family is still out when we get back, so I make an excuse and slip into my bedroom. I take all three tests and then sit on the floor, eyeing the sticks as if they’ve personally offended me.
I have an implant. We used a condom every time. I can’t be pregnant.
When all three tests show a positive result, I deflate, and my eyes sting with tears. Every result is perfectly visible, even through my blurred vision.
I’m pregnant. My stomach flutters, but not in a good way. This is anxiety, not butterflies.
Fear and uncertainty overtake me, but after a moment, I discover that beneath them, there’s a quiet, almost shy hopefulness. For years, I believed this was impossible. Yet, here I am. It feels like a miracle.
A slow smile creeps over my lips, though it dies when another realization hits me like a hard blow.
I’m pregnant…with Hayden’s child, and I have no idea how he’ll react.
26
it’s yours
HAYDEN
The takeout containers are gone,and so are the piles of clothes that were scattered about the living room. I even dusted the piano and my guitar.
With any luck, Riley won’t know what a mess it was while she was gone.
With my plan to distance myself from her, it’s crucial she believes I don’t need saving. If she sees through the façade, sees the man falling apart, the man stitching himself together with fake smiles and “I’m okay” answers, she’ll never back off. Regardless of her feelings for me, she’s selfless and compassionate.
It’d be easier to hide all the chaos in my head from her if she weren’t staying at my place tonight, but I couldn’t say no. Not to her. Never to her.
Fuck. I’m hopeless, aren’t I?
To get my mind off her, I send a quick text to Jimmy and Bo.
Me:
What do you think about letting Owen’s parents and Ines listen to the album before we release it?
Jimmy:
