Hayden is the one to stop the kiss. He presses his forehead to mine, inhaling deeply. “I’m sorry, Ry. I just wanted you to know how much I want you. Only you. Always only you. And I got carried away.”
I shake my head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” I give him a quick peck on the lips. “You did everything right. This was a reminder of how we used to be and a promise of what we’ll have again. You make me feel beautiful again. You’re incredible to me, Hayden.”
“I love you.” He kisses my nose, then helps me to my feet. “What do you want to do? Maybe we can have dinner and then watch TV.”
“Absolutely yes.” Smiling, I head out of the bathroom. “Iris behaved today, so I had time to cook one of your favorite meals while you were with the guys.”
“Spaghetti with meatballs?” he asks, following me out of the bathroom. “Pancakes?”
As we step into the kitchen, he trails off and comes to a stop. The place is filled with a scent so familiar he should figure it out quickly.
And he does. “Roasted chicken in sweet-and-sour sauce with rice.” His face lights up. “You’re spoiling me, babe. Can I help you?”
“Nope. Just sit and enjoy the view.”
Hayden is animated, talking about his day in the studio while we eat dinner. The excitement in his eyes when he mentions a new verse or a song idea always makes me smile.
Sometimes, when a topic reminds him of Owen, his mind drifts. But it’s not heavy like it used to be. It’s softer. Almost fond. Like he’s remembering, not hurting. And somehow, that makes me love him even more.
We’ve made it all the way through the meal before Iris wakes up, her pitiful cries echoing from the monitor. Hayden changes her diaper and brings her to me. While I feed our little girl, he stays in the kitchen, washing the plates and mugs.
Mom offered to fly over to help. Willow did too. We told them we were fine. That we wanted to figure this out on our ownfor now.
Our moms weren’t thrilled, but they understood. And I’ve had to swear to both of them that I’ll call the second I feel overwhelmed.
By the time I finish feeding Iris and settle her back into the crib, my eyes burn with exhaustion. Hayden pulls me to the couch and turns onOuter Banks, saying we deserve at least one episode before calling it a night.
I curl up against him, telling myself I’ll stay awake.
I don’t.
When I wake up, I’m disoriented. It takes a moment to register that I’m in the living room. The lights are off, and I think I heard Iris cry.
It doesn’t surprise me that I fell asleep, but where is Hayden? And why didn’t he wake me up?
With a yawn, I stand and head quietly to our bedroom. As I approach the half-open door, a soft voice makes me pause. I push the door open farther and watch my little family from there.
Hayden is standing by the window, Iris cradled to his bare chest. He’s murmuring to her. His voice is low, steady, almost hypnotic.
I pad to his side, and when I rest my hand on his, he gives me a soft smile. Rising on my tiptoes, I peek over his shoulder at our daughter. The sight melts me completely. Eyes closed, pacifier bobbing gently, Iris is fast asleep.
He shifts, careful and unhurried, and lays her in the crib.
When he comes back to me and wraps his arms around me, I bury my face in his chest, breathing him in.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“We fell asleep on the couch,” he whispers. “I heard her cry, but you were sleeping so soundly. I didn’t want to wake you. I figured I’d try to settle her myself, so you could sleep a bit longer.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. You need to be at the studio at ten, and you need your sleep.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He leans away and looks down at me. “Let’s go back to bed?”
“Uh-huh.”
Even though we’re both exhausted, we don’t fall asleep until ourlips are numb from kissing. Hayden holds me against his chest, and all my love for him sits heavy and warm inside me.
I love him. Truly. Without any walls or pretenses. I love all of him.
