“Just a little more, Ry baby…”
Slowly, she takes me all the way to the hilt, panting as she goes, her hair damp and sticking to her forehead.
Nothing has ever felt as good as she does. “Jesus, you feel perfect…”
She rides me deep and slow, rotating her hips in a way that makes me see stars. Her moans tangle with the thunder, with the heavy rain crashing against the window.
“Fuck,” I groan, burying my face in the hollow of her neck. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me. I think about you all the time…”
I cup the back of her neck and pull her face toward mine. Our lips connect, tongues curling around each other. I massage her tits, tugging on her nipples as she picks up her pace. She chases her orgasm, her movements rougher, and given the fire burning in my lower abdomen, I’m not far behind.
Every second carves her into my being, tattoos her deep under my skin.
“Your dick and your ladder… You feel so good.” She digs her nails into my shoulders and drags them down my back, scratching me. It’s fucking everything.
“Ride me, baby,” I whisper between groans. “You’re fucking me so well…”
Head thrown back, she fucks me hard, making my vision blur. Clutching her ass, I help her move. She clings to me, her body slick with sweat, her forehead on mine, her hot breath fanning my face.
“I’m gonna come…” she screams, her hips moving frantically, and the move triggers my own release.
She clenches around me, and my vision goes black. I come hard, spilling myself inside her. Arms wrapped around her waist, I hold her close as she rides out her orgasm.
Hands down, that was the best sex I’ve ever had. If I made a list of the hottest moments of my life, she’d be at the very top. No one hasever fucked me the way she did—and I’ve never fucked anyone like I fucked her.
This is insanity.
Even after we’re dressed, we find ourselves tangled together, this time on the couch, a far more comfortable spot than the bench. As we catch our breaths, arms wrapped around each other, the storm continues to rage outside like a curious witness. She’s soft and warm. It feels like letting her go would split me open. Her eyes glimmer in the dim light of the room, her lips swollen from all the kisses.
I can’t look away.
She’s the most stunning woman in the world…and she wants me. All of me. Not even my broken, ugly parts scare her. And it feels right to be with her, like we belong together.
Her lips part as if she’s going to speak.
Panic flares inside me. I won’t be able to say no to her, and I won’t be able to lie to her either.
So, before she can ask any questions, before she can make any kind of declaration, I say, “I like you, Ry. Hell, that’s not even close. You get under my skin in ways I didn’t think I was capable of feeling again.” I drag a hand over my face, eyes on the window. “But I’m not okay. You know that. You’ve seen more of it than anyone else. And what scares me isn’t the relationship—it’s me. I couldn’t save my best friend. I didn’t even see how bad he was until it was too late; that guilt sits in my chest and it doesn’t want to go away. I don’t trust myself not to…miss something again, to not hurt the people who depend on me.”
I swallow around the bile clogging my throat, my chest constricting.
“You’re carrying our baby. And the idea of pulling you into the storm that I am? It’s terrifying. Because if I screw this up…if I screwyouup, I’ll never get back from that. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I don’t want you. I do, God, I do. I’m saying it because I’m afraid me wanting you will destroy everything good in your life.”
Her face falls. “What are we supposed to do then? Pretend this didn’t mean anything? That it was just anotherlastlast time?”
My throat closes. “It means…so much.” I try to catch her eyes, but she won’t look at me. “The thought of ruining what we have is unbearable. I can’t lose you.”
She chews on her cheek, her attention on the wall ahead. Then, she takes a deep breath and slowly untangles herself from me. “I think I’ll go to bed.” She stands and heads out of the room, throwing a dull-sounding “night” over her shoulder.
The rain continues pounding against the windows as I sit on the couch, my head in my hands.
Fuck. Why does it feel like I already ruined us?
35
i’m choosing myself
RILEY
