My eyes stay latched to Carmen’s. Even though it’s really fucking hard to resist lowering my gaze to watch her throat bob on a heavy swallow.
Intensity hums through my veins. I feel my eyes darken under my lowered brow.
I might be a virgin, but I know how to kiss.
I’ve kissed a couple girls I’ve been on dates with. I never lost myself in those kisses, but I knew I was doing something right. Their body language made that clear. But each time I backed off, because I wasn’t feeling it.
But if I kiss Carmen right now, I know I will lose myself in it. I’ll fucking drown in it. And if she asks me to go further … fuck, I don’t know if I’ll be able to back off, even if I want to.
I don’t know if I would want to.
I’m not under any delusions. I know that even though Carmen and I have been spending more time together, even though she asked me to help her by pretending to be her boyfriend in front of her parents, that doesn’t mean she wants to date for real.
I’ve always imagined that my first time going beyond kissing would be with a girl I could call my girlfriend. But it’s not like that’s a rule I’ve established for myself. More than anything, I’ve wanted my first time tofeelright.
If it happens with Carmen, even if we’re not officially dating, even if she’s not my girlfriend … well, it won’t feel wrong. I’m convinced of that. There’s a glow of assurance in my chest that I’ve never had before, telling me that whatever I do with this girl, I won’t regret it.
For a couple long and heavy beats of time, Carmen is caught off guard. Her chocolatey eyes are wide and glossy. Her sweet, pink lips parted in surprise.
Then, something gleams in those eyes, and those lips curl. A spark of provocation flashes in her chestnut gaze.
“Is that right?” Her question is an undisguised challenge. Suddenly, my balls are tight. A hot pressure throbs in my groin. For all the bravado I’m still trying to display, it feels like my stomach is upside down.
I take another step forward. Not a big one this time, because we’re already so close. The curve of her breasts brushes against my shirt. Her scent floods my nose. It feels like I’m coated in static.
“Are you too scared to find out?” There’s plenty of irony in that taunt, because I’m the one whose chest is so tight I can hardly breathe.
She scoffs. “Scared? Of what?”
My lips hitch. “Of liking it too much.”
Her head shakes slowly as she assesses me. “Who are you and what did you do with Jamie?”
A tremor races ceaselessly up and down my spine, but I fight to maintain my composure.
“I know that making your parents buy this is important to you. If you think us kissing will help that happen, I don’t want itto be off the table.” I run my tongue against the crease of my lips. “And I really don’t want you thinking that I wouldn’t enjoy the fuck out of it.”
My cock is like a hot spike between my legs, arousal hammering at my loins. The ache is driving me crazy, but fuck does it feel good. The only problem is, if we kiss, and I pull her close, the feel of Carmen flush against my pelvis could easily make me erupt in my pants.
Carmen pulls a breath through her nose. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt …”
She’s wrong about that. Pressing my lips to hers would hurt. It would make my cock so damn hard and my balls so damn tight that I might pass out. I can sense it already. And it would be so, so worth it.
I’m thinking of what to say next, but when I see Carmen’s chin tilt upward and her eyes flutter closed, I realize there’s nothing left to say.
My heart jumps like it’s on a trampoline. Each beat, and those beats are coming fast, feels like it’s getting further up my throat. My pulse pounds like a drum in my ears.
The confidence that just filled me washes away. I can’t feel confident right now, because I’m not even sure this is reality. Are those really Carmen’s lips slightly parted and slowly arcing toward mine? Are those really her long, dark lashes dancing at the crease of her closed eyelids?
Oh fuck, are those really her perfectly firm tits pressing into my chest as her body shifts closer to mine?
Electricity rips through my body. My hands are clammy and shaky. To steady them, I plant them on the sides of Carmen’s hips—and a bomb goes off in my chest.
The curve of her hips feels so fucking good against my palms that I can’t believe it.
Her lips are closer now. My eyes are still open. They shouldn’t be. I force them closed. I dip my head down. My heart hammers, I’m lightheaded, an excited thrum swelling through me.
Our lips touch.
