“Yeah.”
“Well, I’m May 25th.” She nudges me again. I could really get used to that. “Five days before you.”
An older woman. My cock twitches.
Our conversation drifts from topic to topic as we sit on the hood of my car, and before I ever think to check the time, pale light starts to spread across the horizon.
14
JAMIE
“Jamie, you’re making me feel bad,” Sebastian says. “I might have to start taking it easy on you.”
I just grunt in response. Grunting is mostly how I’ve been communicating since this afternoon.
I stayed up all night with Carmen. We drove back while the sun slowly filled the sky with the colorless light of a winter morning.
All morning, I felt great. Riding on a natural high. Not paying an ounce of attention to any of my classes because I was too busy replaying every minute of the night I spent with Carmen.
Just after noon, I crashed.
If this is how Carmen’s trouble sleeping makes her feel most days, it’s no mystery why she’s standoffish.
I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m irritable and in a bad mood. I can’t concentrate. And here at practice, my performance is in the toilet. Sebastian’s been wiping the ice with me in our one-on-one drills.
Do I regret staying up with Carmen? Not for one fucking second. I’m more than happy to pay the price.
One person who isn’t happy, though, is Coach Torres.
“Jamie! Get your ass over here!” he calls to me from where he sits on the bench.
A weak growl rolls in my throat. I skate to him, ready to be chewed out.
Coach’s brow is pulled low above his eyes. “O’Donnell, I didn’t start coaching yesterday. I know what it looks like when a player’s been up all night doing who-knows-what.”
“Coach, I …” my brain fails me before I can even think of anything.
Coach tilts his head. “Yeah, O’Donnell? I didn’t say anything, so you can go ahead with whatever bullshit you were about to serve me.”
All I can do is sigh. “Sorry.”
Coach’s eyes assess me. “Your record is squeaky-clean, so I won’t ride your ass too hard about today. I’ll just assume you pulled an all-nighter studying. Even though, in my experience, every player who uses that excuse is full of shit. Just remember, you’re not just any player on this team. You’re the captain. You have responsibilities no one else does. This time of year, everyone’s going to be tempted to cut corners and take it easy. You need to lead by example and not do that.”
I know he’s right. I feel a twinge of guilt, but there’s no way I can bring myself to regret staying up all night talking with Carmen on the hood of my car.
A question flashes in my mind:would I sacrifice a hockey game to do it again?
The answer arrives quickly: Yes.
Would I sacrifice the championship to do it again?
That’s a question I don’t dare answer.
“I know, Coach. You’re right. It won’t happen again.”
Coach nods guardedly. “Most of the time when someone has to use those words, it’s wise not to believe them. But with you, I do. Don’t make me regret it.”
Back in the locker room, stripping off my pads feels like more effort than a session in the weight room. I’m gonna crash when we get home.
