She doesn’t know the half of it.
A twinge of anxiety notches somewhere in my chest. Would it matter to Carmen that I’m a virgin?
It’s easy to sweep the thought aside. We’re a million steps away from that being a concern. She’s only just started to humor my attempts to get to know her. My level of sexual experience is as far from being relevant to our current relationship as the moon above us is from the gravel under our feet.
“We’re going to test out a new possible hobby,” I say.
Carmen lifts an eyebrow, looking around us. “Okay. I’m already out of guesses.”
I sweep my hand toward the sky. “Astronomy.”
She cranes her head, and I see her lips part in wonder. “Wow. I didn’t know you could see this many stars outside town.”
“Yeah, it’s incredible, isn’t it? One of my old teammates told me about it, but I haven’t been out here at night until now.”
Spots of light blanket the clear, black sky above us, stars scattered overhead, some bright, some dull, some clustered, some lone in a stretch of darkness.
I hop onto the hood and feel the suspension springs sink under my weight. I pat the spot next to me. Carmen joins me. I feel the movement from her weight on my backside, and it makes my groin swell.
“Do you know how to spot any constellations?” I ask, scanning the sky.
“No clue,” she answers.
“I downloaded this stargazing app, but I feel like we should give it a try on our own first.”
“Of course. Using an app would be cheating,” she replies, hints of both sarcasm and amusement in her voice.
Quietly, our eyes wash over the sky. A feeling that’s paradoxically both thrilling and peaceful nestles in my chest. Ican’t find any patterns in the sprawl of silvery lights, but I could sit here next to Carmen until the sun comes up.
The hoot of an owl carries over the still air.
“Should we try to spot the Big Dipper first?” Carmen asks.
“I guess so. Though I have no idea how people found patterns in the stars in the first place. It all looks totally random to me.”
“Guess back in the day, people had nothing to do at night other than look up at the sky.”
“Can’t relate,” I snark. Carmen snorts a tiny laugh.
“Were you really up when I texted you?” She asks, our necks still arched to look above us.
“Yeah, totally.”
Carmen’s throat rumbles with a skeptical sound.
“What?” I ask. “Would I lie about something like that?”
“To make me feel better? Probably.”
“No way. I’m brutally honest and can never tell a little white lie. Once, I went clothes shopping with Sebastian, and he asked me if a pair of jeans made his butt look too big. I had to be honest and say yes. He cried for a week.”
Carmen laughs next to me. Not just a huff or a chuckle, but a real laugh. It’s a high, tinkling sound, and a swirl of joy pulses in my chest. I feel like I could float off this blanket and up to the stars we’re gazing at.
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“No comment.”
Another owl hoot travels across the still night as we continue to search for any pattern.
