It’s the first chapter where my male main character and female main character, who have been either feuding with each other or tiptoeing around their reluctant mutual attraction, finally lose their composure.
They’re total opposites, can’t stand each other at first, but their constant proximity and undeniable physical chemistry overwhelm them, and in this chapter, I want to vividly paint their emotions and sensations as their facades crack.
When I try to find the right words to describe those emotions and sensations—that’s when my brain shuts down.
The book I’m writing is a thriller, not a romance. Still, I want a couple short but really spicy scenes between the two main characters. I’m just finding it unexpectedly difficult to get in the right mindset to execute them.
Is it because I’ve never felt the kind of consuming passion that I’m trying to bring alive on the page myself?
Part of me says that doesn’t make sense. I mean, sheesh, there’s murder in this book, and I didn’t have any trouble describing that despite having never experienced it.
But something about describing desire—real, raw desire, throbbing through my characters so hard that it overflows, forcing them to do things they know they shouldn’t … thinking about writing that when I haven’t felt it myself makes a hollow feeling sink into me. It keeps me from getting lost in my writing.
It’s not like I’m a virgin or anything. It’s just that in the two long-term relationships I’ve been in, and the couple hook ups I’ve had, the sex has always been …meh. I’ve never felt the kind of sheer physical chemistry that I’m trying to capture in my story.
What about those hands of Jamie’s that you brushed against the other day? They might send some heat through your body that helps you find the right words to sizzle on the page.
A muscle tugs low in my core.
I shake my head. Sex with a guy I’m not compatible with isn’t the way to deal with writer’s block. That’s ridiculous.
I sigh at the still-empty page in front of me. I just wish Ididknow how to deal with it.
6
JAMIE
“Come on,” Felix whines. “Add me!”
“You don’t even know them,” Carter says.
“Well, I cangetto know them,” Felix pushes, “if you add me to the group chat!”
We’re sitting in our living room, hanging out. Tuck posted something in the group chat that’s still active with me, Sebastian, Carter, and our former roommates who graduated last year: Hudson Voss, Tuck McCoy, Rhys Callahan, and Lane Larsen. We laughed at it. Then Felix started hounding us to add him.
He’s just fanboying over the prospect of being in a group chat with four standout rookies who are making waves in the NHL this season.
“We’ll put it up to a vote,” Sebastian says. Felix looks perplexed as Sebastian holds up his camera and snaps a photo of him.
I grin, looking at the activity in the chat. Felix keeps prattling on, asking Sebastian what he’s talking about.
“The verdict is in,” Sebastian announces, holding the screen of his phone toward Felix to read it and weep.
What Felix sees in the group chat he so wishes to be a part of is Sebastian posting his picture, putting his hypothetical membership up for a vote, followed by a rapid succession of thumbs-down emojis from our four former teammates.
“This is cruel,” Felix pouts. “Imagine how my game could improve if I had access to the brains of four NHL players. You’re sabotaging my career.”
I chuckle. “Trust me, dude, you’re not missing out on advanced hockey analysis. Most of the chat is just Hudson and Tuck bickering like an old married couple.”
“They miss each other,” Carter says.
“Felix and Veikko remind me a lot of them,” Sebastian comments.
“I’m pretty sure Veikko and I are never going to be an old married couple,” Felix says.
I’d have expected Veikko to chime in with hearty agreement, but when I glance at him, there’s a strange, unreadable expression on his face. I’d almost say it’s a slight look of disappointment … if that made any sense, which it doesn’t.
Felix still has a peeved expression on his face, but he drops it. The conversation drifts into us shooting the shit about random stuff while we play a round of a team-based first-person shooter game on the TV.
