“Cry, Penelope.I’m here now.I believe you.You’re safe.I’m sorry.”
“B-but you said—”
“I deserve to hurt.Give me your tears, sweet pea.”
As though his command annihilates my composure, I break into ugly sobs.Relief, pain, humiliation, and so many other emotions pour from my eyes until his shirt sticks to his skin and my head throbs with hollowness.
He snuck past my defenses and ruined my hard-earned composure.Even though I refused to date him yesterday, he’s already shattered my conviction and wormed his way deeper into my heart.
I don’t want to deny myself anymore, even though I know it’ll hurt like hell when he learns the truth and everything falls apart.
I might never fully belong to or with him, but I want to try.
I want Sebastian Sterling.
All of him.
Somehow.
Chapter 10
Sebastian Sterling
Guilt burns like acid in my veins, but I accept the pain and absorb as much of Penelope’s misery as she’ll allow.Her tears soak my shirt.I tuck her face against my chest and shield her from the world with my body.
I’m the biggest, dumbest asshole in the world.Every sign I ignored throughout the years replays in my head.Her closed door, the separation between her and her brother, her mother’s strained eyes and father’s masked fatigue every time we visited—it all stands in stark contrast to my other memories.
I murmur words of comfort, knowing there’s no way to erase her pain yet desperate to ease her mind.
I pull my heels closer to the bottom of the couch, raising my knees and tucking her tighter and higher against my chest so I can drop my chin onto the top of her head as I comfort her in the only way I know how: by ripping myself to shreds and absolving her of the things she never did but I subconsciously held against her.
“I wasn’t there for you, and I’m so sorry, sweet pea.You avoided me out of fear, not spite, didn’t you?”I continue without waiting for a response.Her sobs wrench me to pieces.“The teachers dismissed you.Your brother was an ass.Your parents didn’t listen.”Her fingers sneak into my unbuttoned collar, sliding against flesh damp from her tears.I hug her tighter.“If the people you loved and trusted most turned you away, then of course you thought I’d do the same.”Pain stabs through my soul as she clings to me and cries.“Of course you were too scared to call me out.The only thing you could do was shut yourself away.You took it all in silence while still dominating the academic world.”I kiss the top of her head and hate myself more with every tear she sheds.“Fucking hell, I’m a goddamn idiot and am so sorry,” I whisper into her hair.“I’ll never leave you again, sweet pea.You don’t have to believe me yet.I’ll prove—”
She cranes her neck and jerks me down by the collar.Our mouths collide.She shocks me with aggressive sweeps of her tongue and demanding tugs of my collar.I groan and bend to her will as she spears impatient fingers into my hair.With drugging ferocity, she silences my thoughts with her mastery of my mouth.
When she pulls away, I growl and chase her, but she twists her hand in my hair and tucks her face against my wet shirt.My chest heaves and cock throbs, but I loosen my arms so I don’t crush her s I breathe in her sweet vanilla scent.
“I don’t want empty words, Sebastian.My head hurts.I cried all over your shirt.Is this dry clean only?”
I sigh and stroke her back, recognizing her need for rest by her deflection.Today has been a long, taxing day.Not only was it her first full day of work, but she had me pestering her at every turn, a panic attack in the server room, and an unprecedented emotional release in my arms.
“Don’t worry about the dry cleaning, love.Tell me the names of your bullies and I’ll take you for dinner.”
“I have food at home,” she says.
“But you won’t eat it even if I take you home right now, will you?”I nudge.
She sighs and rubs her forehead on my sternum.
“You’re right, I won’t.I’m tired,” she mumbles.
“It’s settled, then.Names, food, bed,” I say.
A moment passes before she lifts her head.The scowl on her face says she recognized my vagueness.
“Only two of those are with you,” she challenges.
I quirk a brow.She sighs again and gives a halfhearted eye roll.When she tries to lean her head against my chest, she stops with her eyes roaming over my wet clothing.
