“I’ll tell you anything.” He kisses my head again. Then he takes another deep breath. “It’s not… it’s not like what Indy and Tyler went through. But it upset me, just the same.”
“What?”
After a long pause, he says, “It wasn’t long before I separated from the Army. It was one of the reasons I did, actually.” Another beat passes, and then, “I was supposed to be piloting a rescue op. An exfil, we called them. I can’t talk about the details, but basically, we were supposed to be rescuing a team of Green Berets. But right before we were supposed to leave, I got sick. Food poisoning.”
He shakes his head. “So damn ironic. I never got sick, and the one time… I couldn’t go. I wanted to, but with me being so sick, it would have been risky. So one of my buddies, Adam, volunteered to go instead.”
A heavy feeling expands inside me. “And?”
“The helo was shot down. Adam and the other pilot, Vince, were killed. The Green Berets they’d rescued? Four of them died, too.”
“God, Webb.” I’m sick at the thought of how close he came to dying. “I’m sorry.”
His blue eyes turn to mine. “I felt guilty. Really fucking guilty. Adam was married and had a kid on the way. Vince had just gotten married. The GBs; they had families. Girlfriends. Wives. And then… there was me. This single guy who bailed on his team.”
“Webb.”
“I kept wondering why they died and not me. When they had so much to live for?—”
“Webb Anders.” I make my tone stern. “Don’t you say that. Just because you weren’t married doesn’t mean your life meant any less. And you had no reason to feel guilty. You were sick. That can’t be helped.”
“Still,” he protests. “Maybe if I’d been flying, it would have ended differently.”
“Or maybe you wouldn’t be here.” Tears sting my eyes. “And that would be horrible.”
“Sweetheart. Don’t cry. Please. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m fine. Really. I just don’t want you thinking… You’re important, Webb. To your family, your friends… and to me. And I bet Adam and Vince wouldn’t want you feeling guilty.”
Webb lets out a rueful laugh. “No, they wouldn’t. They’d both kick my ass if they heard me say something like that.” He kisses my cheek. “It’s gotten better since then. I’ve come to terms with it, mostly. But that’s why I started playing. I don’t get online often anymore, but I still enjoy it. And I thought you might, too.”
My heart swells with a joy I would have thought impossible a few hours ago. “I think it sounds like fun. And I’d love to playWorld of Warcraftwith you.”
He cups my cheek as he looks at me, emotion darkening his blue eyes to slate. “I’d really love that, too.”
CHAPTER 11
WEBB
“It’s notthe date I originally planned, but I hope you like it.”
Noelle glances at me as we walk across the hallway from her apartment to mine. Her lips curve up. “I’m sure I will, Webb. I always like our dates.” She pauses. “Actually. Like isn’t a strong enough word. Iloveour dates.”
My heart stutters at her mention of the L word.
With the women I’ve gone out with in the past, any reference to the word love was a giant red flag. Even if it was said innocuously, like Noelle just did, my mind would grab hold of the word and spin it into something far more damning.If she loves my hair,my brain would reason,it’s only a short skip to being in love with me. And I can’t let that happen.
In hindsight, that was pretty stupid. But I was so adamant that I didn’t want a relationship, even a hint of more serious feelings from a woman was enough to make me turn the other way.
Now, though? The word hits differently. There’s a rightness to it. Though I know she’s not saying she lovesme, hope sparks that maybe, someday, she will.
Is it crazy to be thinking of love already?
Logic would say yes—that it’s far too soon, that given Noelle’s situation, it’s hardly the time to be thinking about such things, and that after decades of staying single, love isn’t something I should rush into.
But.
When she says love, I like the sound of it.
