“You think you’re hiding it,” I whispered against her mouth, brushing my nose to hers before I was stealing another long kiss.
I was greedy. I could never have enough.
“But I know you, Ari. I’ve always known you. I see when you’re scared. I see when you’re shrinking yourself to survive.” Our foreheads were together, her hands knitted in my sweater as I shook my head against hers. “It kills me not to pull you out of whatever situation is making you do that.”
Her breath hitched as I kissed down her throat, up over her jaw, claiming her mouth again with a kiss I hoped said more than any words could.
“You deserve to breathe, Ari,” I whispered. “You deserve to speak without flinching. To exist without apologizing. I don’tknow what happens behind your doors, but I know what it does to you. I can see it in your eyes.”
My thumb swept her cheek.
“And I swear to God, I’m trying to respect the life you chose. The vows you made. But if you ever… if you ever looked at me and said you needed a way out—” I swallowed hard. “I’d take your hand and run. Tonight. Right now. Without looking back.”
I exhaled, trembling.
“I’d choose you, Ari. Over everything. Every time.”
She whimpered, and then her arms were around my neck, pulling me into her. She hiked one leg up and I answered by lifting her completely. Her legs wrapped around me and we both groaned when I pressed against her, when the heat of me combined with the heat of her.
“Fuck,” I whispered, cock hardening at the feel of her, and she thrust against me with a moan of her own.
We were ravenous, kissing hard enough to bruise, teeth sinking into skin deep enough to mark.
And then, suddenly, she pulled back.
Ariana’s hands pressed firmly into my chest, her eyes wide as they flicked between mine.
And I watched the exact moment guilt flooded over her, taking out any desire in its wake.
“Stop,” she panted, and she couldn’t look at me as she wiggled out of my grasp. I dropped her feet to the ground gently. “We have to stop.”
“Okay.”
“We have to stop now. Right now.”
“Okay,” I repeated, calmly. Once she was safely on the ground, I pulled away, even as my body and heart and fucking soul screamed in protest. I held up my hands, letting her see I was listening, that she was in control.
Her eyes finally met mine again, and then immediately welled with tears. She sniffed them back, shaking her head. “That was wrong. That was — we can’t —”
“Okay. Ariana, it’s okay.”
“How can you say that?” Tears spilled over, and she swatted them away. “It’s not okay. Nothing is okay. I’mmarried, Shane.”
Her words sliced me to the bone.
“To your general manager,” she added, digging the knife deeper. “Do you realize what it would mean for me, foryou, if he ever found out what we just did?”
She ripped her car door open, and she might as well have ripped my heart from my chest in the process.
I wanted to beg her to stop, to stay, to talk to me, tobewith me.
I wanted to screamI don’t fucking care what it would mean!
But I’d already crossed a line, and I knew that even though she hadn’t stopped me then, the invitation was revoked now.
“And you’re a liar,” she said with her back turned to me. She angled her chin over her shoulder just enough for me to see the pain in her face when she added, “You wouldn’t choose me every time. You didn’t even choose me the first time.”
She was in the car in the next breath, her door slamming shut, engine firing to life, wheels screeching as she threw it in reverse.
