And tonight, I’d get to be a part of it too — not just the woman behind the curtain pulling strings, but someone at the table.
It was an executive dinner for twelve: Nathan and me, obviously, Nathan’s assistant and associate general managers,his senior advisor, the director of amateur scouting, the director of player development, and five members of the coaching staff — our three assistant coaches, the goaltending coach, and the head coach.
Shane.
I should have slapped my own hand for the way my stomach fluttered at the thought of him being here tonight, for how my cheeks warmed and my smile spread like butter melting on a hot roll. Things between us had settled into something resembling peace ever since I crashed his video review at the arena last week. Our apologies that burned as much as they soothed had paved a new road for us, or so it seemed, and we were both committed to leaving the past in the past.
It felt like smoothing out a wrinkled page to start writing again, a new chapter ahead of us.
This time, as friends.
AndGod, was I excited to have a friend.
That was perhaps my favorite part of the move to Tampa — how Maven and Grace and the rest of the girls had wrapped around me with effortless warmth. And now, somehow, I had a fresh start with a man who knew me in a way no one else here did. It was a strange kind of comfort, that familiarity. Like finding an old sweater or hearing a song you used to play on repeat but haven’t heard in decades.
So yes, my nerves were kicking around over the timing of the dinner courses, and the pressure of wanting everything to be perfect buzzed under my skin. But mostly? I was excited.
I had new people to talk to tonight. A new friendship to rebuild. A chance to do something I genuinely loved.
Perhaps what had me buzzing most was that Nathan had promised I’d get a moment to talk about Sweet Dreams.
My smile widened just thinking about how I’d have the chance to tell the executives about the Skate for Change eventnext week, about the Christmas gala, about everything else we had planned.
As much as I loved hosting, I loved nonprofit work more. I missed being in the social-work sector with an ache deep enough to carve a canyon out of. But Sweet Dreams had lit that part of me up again. I had purpose. I had an organization I believed in to throw myself into. I was flush with new ideas and creativity.
Tonight, I’d get to share that with important people — people who could help.
The thought had me giddy as I straightened a candlestick on the dining table, smoothing the linen runner with proud hands.
I was preening.
I took a moment to sneak around the corner and check my appearance in the hallway mirror. The deep green dress skimmed my curves without clinging, elegant but understated, the kind Nathan preferred for nights like this. My hair was swept up, loose tendrils softening the look, my makeup carefully done — enough to feel polished, not so much that it would invite commentary.
I adjusted the delicate gold bracelet on my wrist, letting it settle just right before lowering my arm. Then I made my way back into the dining room to double-check everything was in its place.
“Oh, sweetheart. You’ve outdone yourself.”
Nathan swept into the dining room still fastening his cuff links, eyes taking in the warm, sparkling scene I’d set. A deep red table runner with stunning floral design stretched over a cream tablecloth, each place at the table framed neatly with a gold charger and delicate china plates. Wine glasses and candles were perfectly placed, soft piano jazz flowing in from our speakers above, the scent of dinner enough to make any mouth water.
“I’ve set the antipasto out on the bar,” I said, folding my hands together as I looked at the same scene with pride. “I madesure we have that tequila you said Jared likes best. I still think wine would pair better with the meal, but…”
Nathan slid his arm around my waist and pulled me in, kissing my hair. “He will appreciate the thoughtfulness, and so do I.”
His eyes dipped briefly, taking in my dress, my hair.
“You actually made an effort tonight,” he added lightly. “I like this look on you.”
I held my smile despite how the compliment felt sour, my hands finding his chest as I looked up at him.
For a moment, a deep sadness came over me. I longed for the days when I used to touch this man and feel desire, for when I would look into his eyes and feel nothing but comfort and safety. But I didn’t let myself linger in those thoughts. “Thank you for letting me be a part of tonight.”
His face screwed up a bit at that, like I was being silly. “Well, we needed a dinner, didn’t we?”
Nathan laughed, and my stomach sank.
I ignored it.
Tonight was going to be great. He was just teasing.
