“Why on Earth would you say no to that?!”
“Because I’d want to spend my last moments with the people I love,” she answered simply. “With Georgie.”
“And Nathan,” I finished for her.
She flushed a deep red. We’d somehow managed not to talk about him all day. “Yes, and Nathan. I wouldn’t want to be alone. Wouldn’t you feel the same?”
I sat back again, bringing our bodies closer together. My eyes wandered to the water in front of us. “I’m pretty good at being alone.”
That quieted us both, but I quickly cleared my throat and laughed it off.
“Besides, I’ve watched too many space documentaries and read too many books not to be curious enough to sayfuck it. If I’m going to die anyway, might as well die among the stars.”
“Itwouldbe cool to see Earth from space,” Ariana conceded.
“Just a marble floating around,” I mused. “Puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?”
My day with Ariana was flying by as quickly as I anticipated. I knew just having one day with her wouldn’t be enough, but I didn’t know how easy it would be to talk to her the way I used to, to catch up and hear about who she was now. I reveled in anything she gave me — how she liked her coffee now, how she’d become a big fan of sushi, how she’d ended up at the same party as Michael Jordan once by happenstance.
Some things didn’t sit right with me, like the gaps she wouldn’t fill about why she never ended up pursuing her career in social work. She’d had gigs within the space, that was for certain, but it was like her path was interrupted somehow. Of course, she hadn’tstoppedworking in the nonprofit sector, but it had changed, her work tied up with her husband’s.
Which makes sense, you idiot, I chastised myself internally.Of course their lives would intertwine.
I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t like it.
I was sure it had something to do with the fact that I’d always imagined me in her life, and this didn’t fit any picture I’d had in my head.
“I can’t imagine going to college here,” Ariana said, her eyes crinkling at the edges as she smiled at a group of college kids passing by us. Two of them held blankets under their arms and the third had a Frisbee. They traipsed past us, oblivious to the world before setting up camp a few yards away.
“It’s kind of like Boston,” I mused. “On the water, a city with its own vibe.”
“It’s a lot warmer,” Ariana pointed out.
“And has beaches.”
“But no train.”
“And no North End.”
She groaned at that. “What a shame. Poor kids. I actually feel sorry for them now.”
I smiled, taking in her profile. This woman had aged so goddamn beautifully it hurt. Every soft line on her face, the weathered skin of her hands — all of it told a story. I could close my eyes and envision her laughter, her time in the sunshine, all the nonprofits she’d worked for, all the memories she’d made with Georgie.
She was so strong. She’d fought so hard for the life she had now.
I ached to be a part of it in a way I didn’t deserve.
“I got you something,” I said after a moment. “At the market.”
“What? How? I was with you the whole time.”
“When you went to the bathroom,” I answered easily. “Close your eyes.”
“Shane.” She laughed.
“Oh, just do it.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, but she was smiling when she finally did as I asked.
