But I held his gaze like I meant every word, arching a brow as if to ask,“Anything else?”
For a moment, I thought he might call my bluff. Shane searched my gaze intently, like he was looking for a crack in the armor I’d quickly thrown up around me. But after a moment, he only nodded, wetting his lips before he cleared his throat and picked up a stack of paper in front of him. “Of course. You’re right. It’s all in the past.”
I nodded, the sound of my pulse in my ears nearly too loud to think over.
For a moment, we were both silent. I was just about to launch into the next phase of our to-do list when Shane spoke first.
“How’s Georgie?”
The question caught me off guard, and I finally let myself really look at him.
The edge I’d braced for wasn’t there. Instead, his expression had softened, something genuine and unguarded in his eyes. It was the same care and concern he’d always had when it came to my brother.
Maybe the question should have stung. Maybe it should have made me angry. But it only warmed my heart, an easy smile finding my lips at the fact that Shane had asked about someone he knew meant everything to me.
“He’s…God, Shane, he’s incredible.” My eyes welled with pride as I said the words. “He’s inmed school.”
“What? Holy shit.” Shane’s jaw dropped before a grin split his face. “That’s amazing.”
“Heis amazing. He’s acing all his classes, chomping at the bit to get into the hospital and really dig in. He’s leaving his options open, but thinks he wants to go into pediatrics. Specifically, oncology.”
Shane whistled. “Wow.”
“I know.”
“You must be so proud of him.”
My eyes stung again. “I am. I really am.”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
That comment soured my delight. I wasn’t sure I shared his sentiment. My poor brother had been unwanted by his father, had to witness horrible things happen to his mother, and then try to find normalcy with an older sister who had no idea how to raise a child. I couldn’t give him half of what I wished I could.
And if it wasn’t for Nathan, he wouldn’t be in med school. There was no way I would have ever been able to afford sending him.
I sniffed, forcing a smile. “Speaking of family, how are your grandparents?”
Shane was watching me like he’d seen my train of thought, the doubt, without me even saying a word. He tried to smile, but it only reached the corner of his mouth before it fell again. “They passed several years ago.”
“Oh, Shane… I’m so sorry.”
“They lived a great life. Grandma passed first — just old age, as the doctor said. And Grandpa went right after.”
I nodded, and without thinking, I reached for him, hand wrapping around his wrist with a squeeze. I knew how complicated his relationship with them was. He was thankful to them taking him in when his parents died, but they also hadn’t known what to do with him, so they’d thrown him into sports and wiped their hands. They had been in their retirement era, ready for it to be just the two of them, and Shane hadn’t fit into that narrative. But they loved him. They housed him and clothed him, made sure he was fed and had plenty of money for whatever he needed when he made it to college. Hockey was expensive, and they’d footed every bill without question.
But none of that made up for what he really wanted, what he needed, what he was missing.
Parents.
Family.
My throat constricted when I thought of how hard it all must have been for him.
I felt a tinge of hurt and jealousy, too. I wished I could have been there for him through it.
I wished we could have stayed in each other’s lives.
Shane stared at where I held him, a muscle ticking in his jaw. When he lifted his gaze to mine, I felt stripped to the bone.
