Instead of allowing frustration to take over, I press a gentle kiss to her lips before closing the door and circling around to the driver’s side.
As I pull into midafternoon traffic, I twist the radio dial until it lands on an alt-rock station. “For the baby,” I tell her, my tone light and teasing. “I want him or her to grow up with proper music appreciation.”
A fragile smile ghosts across her lips. “You’re insane.”
“What I am,” I counter, glancing at her, “is crazy for you. Don’t ever doubt it.”
Not that long ago, the guys used to joke that I’d never settle down, that I’d retire before it ever happened. I used to think they were right. But sitting here next to Rina, I know better now. The hard part wasn’t falling in love. It was letting someone close enough to see the real me. And wanting to see her just as clearly in return.
43
Rina
I sit in silence as Oliver weaves through the crowded streets on the way back to the arena. The sound of our baby’s heartbeat still thrums inside me, a relentless presence that followed us out of the exam room, down the sterile white hallways, all the way to the Porsche.
Beside me, Oliver chatters, his voice threaded with excitement. But it turns into background noise, everything he says blurring together, muffled beneath that steady thump-thump-thump replaying inside my head. Proof that something real is growing inside me.
Something impossible to ignore.
“Rina?”
I blink, dragging myself back into the present, only to realize the car has stopped moving. The purr of the engine fades as he cuts it in the parking garage, and his hand slides over mine. Somehow, twenty minutes slipped by without me noticing.
The heartbeat continues to echo in my head.
Steady, certain, and real.
It feels like it’s pulsing beneath my skin, too loud to ignore.
Oliver’s hand is still over mine, as if he thinks he can steady both of us with sheer force of will. When I finally look at him, his expression softens. There’s wonder written all over his face.
Hope too.
The kind that terrifies me.
He releases a quiet laugh, the sound almost disbelieving. “That was something, huh?”
I nod, but it’s a lie.
Instead of wonder, I feel the walls closing in, the weight of everything pressing harder by the second. When his hand drifts from mine, settling gently over my stomach, I freeze beneath the touch. My chest tightens, each breath coming out harsher than the last as panic claws its way up my throat. It’s like I’ve been sealed inside a space too small to hold me.
The sound of a heartbeat continues to ring in my ears. I can’t tell if it’s the baby’s or mine anymore. All I know is that it’s too loud, too alive, when I can’t afford to feel this much.
The fluorescent lights buzz overhead, reflecting off windshields as engines idle in the crowded garage.
It’s too much.
Too close.
I need air.
Now.
“I have to go,” I manage, the words rough and broken as they scrape from my throat.
For one shaky second, I think he’ll allow me to retreat. That he’ll give me the space to run back to the safety of my office, where I can pretend we didn’t just share one of the most intimate moments of my life.
Something shifts behind his eyes.
