It was about staying.
The part that scares me most isn’t whether I’ll know what to do.
It’s wondering if I’ll be even half the man he was.
I lie still for a few more minutes, memorizing her. The shift of her body against the sheets. The freckle near her collarbone I only noticed last night. The sunlight catches it, bathing it in a golden hue, and suddenly leaving this bed isn’t something I want to do.
I move carefully, sliding out before she stirs. The floor is cool under my bare feet as I pull on sweatpants and head to the kitchen.
The penthouse is quiet. It’s a silence I’ve grown used to over the years. After growing up with three siblings and then living in houses packed with teammates and noise, I welcomed the peace. But it didn’t take long for that quiet to turn oppressive, the kind that reminds you how empty everything really is.
Except now…
Rina’s jacket is draped over the back of a chair, and her heels are sitting by the door. The scent of her shampoo lingers faintly in the air. The space feels lived in for the first time since I moved here.
I beeline for the fridge and take stock of the contents. There’s a wasteland of takeout cartons and half-drunk protein shakes. After a little digging around, I find eggs and a pack of turkey bacon shoved in the back.
And voilà, you have breakfast.
There’s a hiss as the bacon hits the hot pan. The sound slices through the stillness as I pull up a recipe on my phone for the perfect scrambled eggs and then follow each step. Milk, cheese, salt, and pepper. My movements are clumsy but deliberate.
While the eggs cook, I grab my cell and open the text thread with my older brother.
Me: Guess what?
Hayes: It’s too damn early to play guessing games.
Me: I’m gonna be a dad.
Hayes: lol. Fuck off.
Me: Not kidding.
Hayes: Jesus Christ. Who the hell would let your dick near them?
Me: Haha. You’re hilarious.
Hayes: For real tho. Are you serious?
Me: Dead serious. What the hell do I do?
Whenever I have a question or need advice, Hayes is my go-to.
The reply comes through quickly.
Hayes: Get a few books and some prenatal vitamins. Tea helps for nausea. And the most important wisdom I can impart—don’t be an asshole.
A smile tugs at my lips despite myself. I pull up an online store and go a little crazy adding things to my order. Parenting guides, prenatal vitamins, ginger tea. You name it, I toss it in the cart. It feels ridiculous and surreal and somehow… right.
Another message pops up.
Hayes: Can’t wait to meet Little O.
The name hits harder than expected.
Little O.
I can almost see me holding a tiny bundle with my hair and Rina’s eyes as her laughter fills the room. The image nearly knocks the air out of me and leaves my chest tight.
