Elise had put her off as best she could, which was only making Aya hungrier for the information that Elise was keeping close to her chest. But what could she even tell Aya that wouldn'thave her friend looking at her like she had gone absolutely freaking nuts?
Every night, Elise dreamed of Nico: his hands, his mouth, the way he jumped in between her and Reece when it looked like Reece was going to do real damage. The way he had protected her, the way he'd gotten her out of werewolf territory, and then the kisses, the strokes of his hands, the feel of his cock moving deep inside her.
It had been amazing, fantastic, wonderful. Every single word in the dictionary for “satisfying” applied in the situation. But Elise had to get over it.
Yes, it was amazing.
Yes, it was explosive.
But Nico was just a guy. There were billions of guys on the planet. Why did she have to be obsessed with the only one she couldn't have?
She almost wished she had a human friend, one she could talk to without all of the baggage that came from the history of werewolves and witches and all the ancient hate between them. But this hypothetical human friend would probably just tell her to go for it, and Elise wouldn't be able to explain why that was impossible.
In her most secret heart,shewasn't sure why it was impossible. Who cared about a beef that had existed since the dawn of time? Could anyone actually explain it anymore?
Those kind of questions would only invite more suspicion.
She started looking up EMT programs in the area, and she had the application page open in a tab on her phone, but she hadn't brought herself to fill it out. She was curled up in a ball on her bed, the—thankfully recovered—phone glaring brightly in her face. The information request form would take two minutes to fill out, but she hadn't even entered her name.
The desperation she'd felt while trying to look like she was doing anything useful for Cole hadn't faded. She really did think that more technical training would make her into a better healer.
But something was stopping her.
It was a big step. Would she have to leave the zoo? Would she be walking down another career path? It was too big of a decision to make right then, even if she was only applying to the program and not agreeing to pay for it or go through with it.
She kept the tab open and let it fester.
That night, Aya finally cornered her in her room, bursting in like a whirlwind and slamming the door behind her, leveling Elise with a glare strong enough to hold her in place.
"What gives?" Aya demanded. She stepped fully into the room and sank down onto the far edge of Elise's bed. You've been acting like a freaking zombie, and you won't talk to anybody. I think I know you pretty well, and this isnotyou."
"Do you?" Elise could feel anger bubbling up. She didn't know why. Aya was her friend, and if she was being annoying, it was only because she cared.
But everyone onlythoughtthey knew her.
She'd been dealing with incorrect perceptions since she was a little kid. Her parents, the Wallace Grove coven, and now this. No one would be able to believe it if she told them that she had slept with a werewolf and had the best sex of her life.
"Are you sure about that?" Elise pressed. "Everyonethinksthey know me, the good little girl, the good little healer. She does exactly what she's told whenever she's told and she runs away from monsters and she's afraid of everything."
God, she was mad.
She wanted tohitsomething or to crush something. Not a person, nothing living—she was still a healer—but she wanted to do violence. And she wanted to scream,You think I'mthe woman who would never kiss a werewolf, or fall for a werewolf, or dream of him every night.
But she kept that confession to herself. Aya wouldn't,couldn'tunderstand, and Elise didn't want to face the judgment she would see in her best friend's eyes.
Aya tilted her head to the side and scrunched up her face. "That's not you at all," she said, leaning closer. The bed dipped as she moved.
For a second, Elise worried that she'd said the thing about sleeping with Nico out loud.
But Aya kept talking. "You have been breaking the boundaries that people put on you for your entire life. Just because you look like some innocent little angel, it doesn't mean you are one. You think that because you look likethat," she flicked her fingers at Elise, "people make assumptions about you, but we don't. We know who you are. You went into werewolf territory, and you healed the enemy. And you don't even seem particularly traumatized by it, even if you're acting weird. So I don't know who you thinkIam. I'm trying to figure out what changed about you."
If only Elise could say it. If she could just let the words out.
If she could tell Aya that she and Nico had a thing, that Nico was amazing if you looked past the werewolf part and the kidnapping part and the hostage part. That he was funny and he was kind and he was so damn sexy, he had Elise questioning everything she knew about the world.
But she couldn't say a word about that because Aya was a witch and she hated werewolves on principle and she hated Nico in particular for kidnapping Elise, which was understandable. Under other circumstances, Elise would have been very happy about the support.
But Elise didn't know how to make anyone understand that she didn't hate Nico, that she couldn't. Elise pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her shins.
