I clench my hands in my lap. “I cannot just sit idle in this house, feeling useless. I need a purpose, Kate. I want to help.”
“You’re not useless, sweetling. Besides, I have money in reserve. Lucrezia’s jewelry and antiques.”
I also have money, and the jewelry I took from home, still hidden at my campsite. I need to go back for it, at some point. But the cautious side of me believes I should keep it a secret, just in case things between Kate and me ever sour. I pray that they won’t. But I’ve learned not to trust anyone completely.
“We’ll get by,” Kate says comfortingly. “You needn’t worry.”
“Yes, but you said yourself that work is drying up. We can’t depend on more parties. I’ll cut my hair shorter. Like a boy’s. Tailor one of your suits to my size. I’m afraid of being caught, too. But I won’t be a b—” I cut myself off, remembering Kate’s reaction the last time I said the word “burden” aloud. “I promise to be careful.”
She sighs, rolling her head back on her shoulders. “Your obstinance is maddening. I’ll need convincing. Can you really pick pockets that well?”
Her doubt rankles me. But it also challenges me. “Lay a trap for me. Put coins in your pockets. Wear jewelry, just like the ladies at your parties. I’ll prove my skills to you within a day.”
“Oh, you will?” The corner of her mouth quirks up. “I’m not sure I believe you.”
“We’ll see, won’t we?” I say haughtily.
That night, after supper, I lay three coins and a pocket watch out on the dining room table. Kate fishes in her pockets, patting her breeches. Then she smiles at me, slowly. “I’ll be damned,” she says. “How?”
I sit up a little taller, lifting my chin. “I took one coin while you were hanging laundry to dry. I took the pocket watch when you kissedme in the hall. The other two coins, I pilfered when we passed one another, tidying the house.”
“I didn’t feel a thing.”
“And neither will they.”
“You’ve convinced me, you little minx.” Kate sits back in her chair, a wolfish gleam in her eyes. “Come here.”
I cross to her. She pulls me onto her lap, one hand knotting in my hair. My breath catches in my throat. “You deserve a reward, my sweetling. My clever, quick girl.” She traces her tongue along my neck as she positions me squarely against her, one arm latched around my waist while her other hand rucks up my skirts and finds the opening in my drawers. I twist as her fingers explore my bared flesh.
“Please,” I whimper.
“Please, what?” she says, her hand tightening in my hair again. “Tell me what you want, Lillian.”
“You,” I say.
She chuckles, opening my legs with her knees, locking me in place. Right where she wants me. Her dominance over me is intoxicating. Heady. With practiced ease, she strokes the knot of throbbing want between my legs. In a matter of moments, she brings me to the edge of oblivion, and then ceases her ministrations, even as I writhe and beg for more. She lands a stinging slap on my thigh. I gasp in surprise. The sensation makes my skin tingle, sends molten heat catapulting to my core.
“Not until I’m ready, sweetling,” she scolds. “And I do mean to take my time.”
Kissing me deeply, she unbuttons my bodice, shoves her hand down my corset, and brings my left breast out. “Perfect, so round and fitting for my hands,” she says, pinching my nipple. I whimper as her other hand travels back to my nether regions, as she dips one long finger inside me, plumbing my depths. “You’re soaking wet.” She brings her finger to my lips, teasing them open. “Taste how honey sweet you are, my pet.”
I take her finger into my mouth, suckling it. She groans. “I need to see you. All of you. Take off your clothes. Then climb onto that table and offer yourself to me.” She pushes me off her lap and watches with heavy-lidded eyes as I shed my clothing, until I’m naked and trembling before her. Her eyes blaze with desire as they travel over me. Being on such flagrant display feels salacious. Wicked. But if our sort of love damns me to hell, I’ll burn willingly.
“On the table,” she says. “I won’t tell you again.”
I hoist myself up onto the table, the cool marble top kissing the backs of my thighs. My heart races as Kate stalks toward me, her eyes hungry. I reach for her, but she grasps my wrists, pushing me onto my back. She takes one of my nipples in her mouth, tugging at my sensitive flesh with her teeth. The candles in the center of the table flicker with our movements, casting leaping shadows onto her face. Once she’s had her fill of my breasts, once she has me panting and begging, she pulls her chair closer and sits between my open legs. I lift my hips, aching to feel her touch, needing her as much as I need my next breath.
“Look at you,” she says, tracing the line of my sex with the tip of her finger. “Such a delicious feast. So ready and eager for my mouth.”
She scoops her hands beneath my hips and pulls me to her roughly, hooking my legs over her shoulders as she nuzzles between my thighs, nipping and licking. I nearly levitate off the table, gripping the edge with my fingertips as she buries her face in my wetness, as she lavishes me with her tongue, from bottom to top, like I’m the most delectable dish she’s ever tasted.
Her hands grip my buttocks, holding me captive to her mouth, my cries echoing from the high ceiling as I beg for the release she so cruelly withholds. She brings me to the precipice, again and again, circling the source of my pleasure with the tip of her tongue, then diving back into my depths to drink from me, until finally, she shows mercy and, with a relentless, steady rhythm, drives me past the point of no return. My crisis breaks over me, and I clench and cry out, pleasure blooming within me like a hidden rose.
Once my trembling ceases, she lowers me gently back onto the table and returns to my mouth, kissing me long on the lips. I grasp at the waist of her trousers, longing to taste her, to give her the same satisfaction she’s just given me. She pulls away, shoving my hands aside. “No, Lil.” Her face is hard. “Don’t ever touch me there. Not ever. Do you understand?”
I sit up, confusion looping through me. The first time we were intimate, I excused her reticence as a reaction to my inexperience. She initiated me into the ways of pleasure, but when I reached for her to do the same, she gently pushed me away, then gathered me in her arms and held me, distracting me with loving words and caresses.
“But what about you?” I ask. “Don’t you want ...”
