“My sisters are obsessed withEmily in Parisand have been on a French food kick,” he explains with a shrug. “They insist on ordering it whenever I’m home now.”
That makes me giggle, imagining a little Zander being dressed up by his sisters and forced to play tea party with them.
“You’re close with your family, huh?”
“Yeah,” he nods with a small grin. “I was pretty lucky growing up. Mom and Dad were crazy about each other and loved the shit out of us kids. It was Lauren, Paige, Rosie, and me bringing up the rear.”
“And your sisters are all married?”
“Yep. All married with kids… kind of. Lauren has three, Paige has two, and Rosie is pregnant with her first.”
“Wow.” I raise my brows and shake my head. “That’s a big family you got there.”
“Hopefully I can add to it one day.” He gives me a hesitant look. “What do you think about kids?”
The question catches me off guard a moment and I frown as I think about my answer.
“I, uh, guess I haven’t really thought about it too much,” I finally answer. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t want them, but having a family hasn’t really been a huge priority for me. I didn’t grow up with the best example. I have my Mom, and she’s the best mom, but… it’s mostly just been us my whole life since Dad and my older brother, Aiden, left.”
I don’t want to admit how lonely it was growing up sometimes. Mom was great and supportive and always looking out for me, but she also had to work and have some sort of life of her own.
A lot of times, it was just me and my books.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Zander murmurs.
Shrugging, I reply, “It’s whatever. I mean… it sucked, I won’t lie. Not having my dad and brother around growing up was hard sometimes, and I was definitely hurt… ”
I trail off because I’ve said more than I actually meant to. It just kind of slipped out… I wasn’t really thinking…
“Have you ever confronted your dad or brother about how they made you feel by leaving?” he asks in a gentle tone.
I tense, but force a shrug. “Why would that matter? They clearly don’t care if they never bothered to ask.”
I try to sound nonchalant, like I don’t really care that my dad and brother abandoned me when I was a kid, but my voice wavers. I’m also clenching my jaw so hard, it aches and I have to force myself to relax before I crack my teeth.
Zander hesitates a moment before saying, “That’s crazy to me because you’re so easy to care for and love… ” He stops, cheeks flooding with color, and clears his throat. “I mean, maybe they have their own shit going on and they don’t understand howtheir actions affected you. Sometimes people need things spelled out for them.”
I lick my lips nervously, considering his words carefully. I guess I’ve never thought of it that way before, but… I don’t know. So much time has passed and the lines of communication seem all but shut down.
Still, I shrug and murmur, “Yeah, maybe.”
Zander wraps his hand around mine and gives it a tender squeeze.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to overstep.”
I offer him a small, reassuring smile, my heart warming at his concern and care.
“You didn’t,” I assure him. “It’s just… complicated.”
“I’m sure it is.” He raises my hand and presses my knuckles to his lips. “You’re an incredible woman, you know that? Smart, gorgeous, confident. So confident it’s fucking intimidating sometimes.”
My cheeks heat and I feel shy again. Damn, this man just knows how to turn me into putty in his hands. I’m a little surprised that he thinks I’m so confident. Most of the time I don’t think I’m confident at all.
“Thanks. I try.” I wink and he chuckles, and my heart feels like it’s not really in my control anymore.
After a delicious dinner that’s left me full and content, Zander drives us home in his truck. I rest my head against his shoulder and let myself drift off. I’m so relaxed and happy… so at ease with the man sitting next to me.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
