The teacup looks so tiny and delicate in his large hand, but he handles it with care.
Silence falls between us and it makes me a little twitchy. Grabbing a chair, I pull it from the table and sit down in front of him. Shit… he’s almost as big as Zander is, and I just feel tiny gazing at him.
“So,” I begin, holding his gaze. “Why are you really here?”
He regards me a moment before releasing a long breath. “Mom called me and asked me to come out. She thought you needed me.”
I frown. “What? Why would she think that?”
“Because I understand some of what you’re going through.”
“I don’t understand.”
He licks his lips and takes another sip of tea before diving into his explanation.
“Look, Rylee. I’m sorry that I’ve been such a shitty brother to you all these years. I let my own problems and avoidance tendencies keep me from being a bigger part of your life. Honestly, I just couldn’t be in Nashville. I have more bad memories than good, and they aren’t all about Mom and Dad. But I supppose, thathat’s neither here nor there.”
“Okay, I get that,” I tell him. “Not sure how that helps you understand what I’m going through.”
“Mom told you about my drinking, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, she did.”
He tilts his head and gazes at me thoughtfully. “Look, I know I’m in no position to give you advice. I’ve been a terrible brother, but I want to fix things, so I hope you listen anyway.” He pauses, giving me time to object before continuing on, “I used to drink to numb everything I was feeling. I didn’t think I had a problem, and I wasn’t dependent on booze or anything to get me through the day, but I was relying on it way too much. It started small. I’d maybe drink to numb myself once or twice a month. Soon,though, it was a weekly occurrence, and eventually daily. Even if it wasn’t as severe of a problem as it could’ve been, the family history is there and I needed to face it head on, otherwise it would have ruined my life eventually. I know what it’s like, thinking it’s the only thing that can make it hurt less. You get drunk and can disappear from your problems…”
I stare at him. This hits home maybe even more than I want to say aloud.
He sighs. “At least, youthinkyou can, but it really only makes things worse.” He rests his arms on the table and leans toward me. “There’s no shame in admitting you need help, Rylee. Joining the military helped me straighten things out. There’s a way you can do the same, even if it doesn’t involve enlisting.”
I don’t say anything for several long moments as I let his words sink in. Maybe it’s because he actually knows what it’s like, but hearing all this from Aiden has a bigger impact than hearing it from Mom or a room of strangers.
“What triggered you?” I ask. “What caused you to go down this path until you realized you had a problem?”
Aiden suddenly drops his gaze and his cheeks turn pink. He seems almost shy.
“It was a girl.”
My jaw drops. "Shit, I never imagined my brother having girl problems." To say I’m shocked is an understatement. Aiden’s the type of guy who can get any girl he wants on looks alone.
He shrugs and clears his throat. "Yeah well, let's just say there's a reason I'm still single. But that's a story for another day. The point is, I don't want you to end up like me. And this guy… what's his name? Well, Mom said you love him."
"Zander. Yeah… I do."
"Then if you don't do it for me, or for Mom, get help for yourself. For him. Because he deserves you to fight for him, your relationship, and be the best version of yourself."
I know Aiden’s right. Hell, I know everyone around me is right. If it wasn’t for the way I drank myself stupid to escape my problems and feelings, I would never have hurt Zander like this. I would have never thrown up on him, forgot who he was the night of Grace’s wedding, or written that stupid article.
I need help. I really, really need help. There’s no point in denying it or trying to hide the fact when it’s staring me right in the face like this.
“You’re right,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “You’re right… I need help.”
He nods, smiling softly. “Acknowledging it is the first step, and I can be that help. We can be there for each other, supporting each other without judgement. What do you say?”
Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I give him a shaky smile.
“I think that sounds like a hell of a plan.”
He offers me his pinky and I chuckle as I wrap mine around it and we pinky promise, just like we did when we were kids.
