“Zander… I… I want to be honest with you. The few days between when Rylee came back home to pack for Ireland and the day she left, I have never seen my baby girl so sad. So… empty. I know what she did was wrong. Believe me, I see your perspective clearly. But, I just wanted to offer you a little bit more into Rylee's state of mind. Maybe to help you understandher better. Maybe out of a foolish hope that this could fix things. And I wanted to tell you in person because it’s important that you really understand why she is the way that she is.”
“Okay,” I murmur. “I’m listening.”
She takes a moment to seemingly gather her thoughts before continuing, “Rylee’s father and I shouldn’t have been together for as long as we were. We got pregnant with her brother Aiden after a one-night stand, and we both felt obligated to be together. To be a family.”
Ah, fuck. “So, you were together out of obligation.”
She nods. “I always wanted to fall in love, but I never really wanted to be a wife, and I’ve realized how much I resented my ex for ‘tying me down’ so to speak, but it wasn’t his fault. He tried so hard, and he did love me. I just could never get there for him. Still, when we ended things, I felt a lot of bitterness toward him and it had an impact on my relationship with Rylee and my expectations for her.”
I frown and shake my head. “I’m sorry for all that, but what does this have to do with me?”
She looks apologetic when she answers. “My bitterness allowed me to let Colin take the blame for things that weren't his fault. It caused Rylee to have a poor perspective of her father, and worse, a hidden fear of abandonment. Her father never wanted to leave his baby girl, but I asked for a divorce and he had just lost his job in the states, so going back to work the family business just made sense. But he let me blame the end of our marriage on him and I didn't stop it. As a result, Rylee has always tested and pushed away anyone she's met. She self sabotages to see if any guy would actually stick around. I kept telling her to not settle, hoping that when she found her true love she would realize that all those who didn't fight for her were just not right. Instead, I made her think that she needed some perfect man. One perfect enough to never leave her. Tomake matters worse, I kept our family history of alcohol abuse away from her, not realizing she was at risk. I should have been more open with her, about everything.” She pauses and drops her gaze, shaking her head in shame. “It was a perfect storm, and one she never saw coming. I'll forever be responsible and regretful for it because by the time she found you, it took losing you for her to realize she’d been making a mistake.”
I blink at her, then sigh. “I see. So that’s why she’s not so great with trust and opening up, and isn’t so keen on liars, huh?”
“Yeah.” She looks ashamed and I feel a little bad for her. She’s a nice woman, and a good mom, but she’s been through a lot herself and has let it affect her daughter. “That’s why she’s set herself such impossible standards, but I can’t let what the two of you have fall apart because of the mistakes I made with her. It’s obvious that you two have found the kind of love I’ve only ever dreamed of, and you can’t let it slip through your fingers like this.”
Swallowing, I choke out, “I appreciate you telling me all this, Ms. Benson, but I’m just not sure… ”
“Don’t give up on her,” she pleads. “She’s working to make things right. Here… it doesn’t seem like you’ve seen this.”
She digs out her phone and swipes at her screen a few times before handing it to me. To my surprise, she has the ICON website pulled up and there’s a message on the homepage in big bold letters.
IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT, DUE TO UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES, OUR ARTICLE FEATURING ZANDER CALDWELL WAS FALSIFIED AND SUBMITTED FOR PUBLICATIONS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. WE APOLOGIZE TO MR. CALDWELL FOR THE IMPACT THIS HAS HAD ON HIS REPUTATION AND WILL BE PUBLISHING THE REAL ARTICLE AFTER THE NEW YEAR.
I gaze down at the words, surprised. Did Rylee do this? Did she step in to defend me to her own magazine?
“You have no idea how lucky you two are,” Ms. Benson declares. “How hard it is to find a love like you two have. I’ve searched for it my whole life and still haven’t found it. Don’t throw what you have away because you’re angry. Trust me, you’ll regret it.”
She sounds so earnest and her words hit me deep in my heart, so I softly say, “Thank you for telling me all this Ms. Benson. And for showing me that. I really appreciate it.”
Nodding, she pushes to her feet, preparing to leave. “Please hold on just a little longer. Let Rylee have some time to work on herself so she can come back as someone you deserve.”
I gaze up at her, unable to answer her with a yes or no, so instead I assure her, “I’ll think about it. Thank you again.”
She gives me a last, lingering look before turning and making her way out of the restaurant, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts and heavy heart.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT: IRELAND
RYLEE
Steppingoff the plane in Dublin, my heart feels like it might explode. Following the crowd through the terminal, I tell myself over and over that everything is going to be okay. This is a good thing I’m doing. Being here is a good thing.
Still, I’m nervous. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my dad face-to-face… what if he doesn’t recognize me?
Suddenly, I hear a voice calling out my name.
“Rylee! Here! Over here!”
I look to see a tall, older man with strawberry blonde hair and moss green eyes waving his hand in the air, beckoning me toward him. He’s standing outside the arrivals gate, and I wonder how long he’s been waiting. Well… I guess he recognizes me. That’s a good start. I certainly recognize him. I pause, my heart still racing with anxiety, but I force myself to walk toward him.
“Hey, Dad,” I reply with a small, nervous smile when I reach him.
“Oh, I’m so glad to see you, my girl!” To my surprise, he wraps me in a tight hug. It’s hella awkward, but… it’s kind of nice. He pulls back and looks me over. “How was your flight?Lord above, you are a sight for sore eyes. You look so beautiful, sweetheart!”
There’s something nostalgic about his thick accent that makes me feel like a little girl again. It’s a bittersweet sensation, because I could have had more of this throughout the years if I hadn’t been so damn stubborn.
“My flight was good,” I answer. “Long, but good.”
