God, he looks good. Why does he have to look so fucking good? His beard is trimmed and neat and he’s wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt… probably because he knows how much I love him in a tight shirt that shows off his biceps.
Sucking in a deep breath, I begrudgingly make my way toward him.
“What are you doing here?” I demand to know, setting Gizmo’s carrier on my car’s trunk.
Zander looks nervous as he clears his throat and hesitantly answers, “I’m sorry for ambushing you like this, but I had to talk to you before you left.”
I glare at him and snap, “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me. The one thing I told you I couldn’t stand is lying, and you still did it. How am I supposed to trust you now?”
He winces at my sharp tone and words. “I know, I know… I should’ve told you right away, but I was scared to.”
“Scared?” That surprises me. “You were scared?”
He gazes at me imploringly. “Please, just let me explain.”
I fold my arms and give him a narrowed-eyed glare.
Hesitating, I consider telling him to fuck off, but I can’t help my curiosity. “Fine. Say what you want to say and then get out of my way.”
He flinches again, and part of me hates speaking to him so harshly, but I’m still hurt. I’m still angry, and part of me wants to punish him for doing what he did.
“I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you that I wasGlideControlZ,” he begins. “I promise, I wasn’t trying to deceive you. I was just… so afraid of losing you. When I found out the girl I was falling for online was the same girl I was falling for in-person, I knew you were it for me. All we were doing at the time was going for each other’s throats, and I was afraid if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t even give me a chance. I was scared of losing you before you were really mine… so, I lied to you so that wouldn’t happen.”
“Are you serious?” I scoff. “You lied to me, to win me over? What kind of logic is that?”
He holds up his hands. “I know, I know. It doesn’t make that much sense in hindsight, but I wanted us to get to know each other outside of the app. If I’m totally honest, I was afraid that you’d tell me to fuck off if you knew who I was before you actually liked me as… me.”
That… that kind of makes sense. Some of my anger toward him softens, but I don’t say a word, needing to hear what else he has to say.
“I want to show you how serious I am about you,” he continues in a soft voice. “How genuine my feelings are. I’ve booked the same flight back to Nashville as you with Grace’s help, and I want you to come celebrate Thanksgiving with me and my family. I’ve never been anything but my genuine self on and off the app. I never lied about my feelings or pretended to be anything but crazy about you. I want to prove that to you by letting you into my world completely. If, after the long weekend, you still don’t want to even consider forgiving me, I’ll understand. At the very least, you’ll have some more personal stuff about me for the magazine. What do you say?”
He sounds so genuine, and he’s gazing at me with so much hope… part of me wants to latch onto his explanation and forgive him right here and now.
I’m smarter than that, though. More cautious. I’m not going to take his word for it.
“No. I’m sorry, but… I can’t,” I snap, grabbing Gizmo’s carrier and shoving past him to get into my car. I don’t look at Zander as I climb in behind the wheel, but I know he’s still there. Sneaking a peek at him in my side mirror, he looks so sad and disappointed. His shoulders slumped as he moves out of my way. He’s going to let me leave without a fight.
I want to scream at him to fight harder! Fight for me! Don't let me leave!
And yet, at the same time, he's here. I haven't answered a single call of his or come to the door when he's come knocking, sometimes for hours on end. I've ignored it all, but he still showed up here. Isn't this fighting for me?
Fuck! Why do I feel so shitty right now! Why do I want to give him the chance to prove that he really cares? To see if there’s still a chance for us?
I desperately want that chance. No one has ever made me feel the way Zander does, and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want our time together to have been a waste.
I still want him to be the perfect guy for me.
“Goddamn it,” I grumble, opening the car door again and getting out, slamming it shut behind me.
“Okay,” I growl. “I’ll come to Thanksgiving with your family, but I’m going to sleep at my place and go to my mom’s the next day. We always do Thanksgiving lunch instead of dinner, so we can probably make the timing work somehow. Deal?”
His face lights up with relief and he eagerly nods. “Deal! Of course. You can stay at your place. If you’ll come to dinner andmeet my family, I’ll take you home and pick you back up for Thanksgiving. I swear, Rylee, you won’t regret this.”
“I’m already regretting it. But let’s get the hell going.”
He smiles at this. Goddammit, that almost makes me like him again.
This is a risk I’ve only taken once before - giving a guy a second chance. I just pray that Zander doesn’t break my heart like Miles did, because if he does… there won’t be a third chance.
