“Dad gave it to me when I moved. Said he’d feel better knowing I could reach out to you if I ever needed help, seeing as you also live in the city.”
A vague memory of Mike asking my permission to pass my number on a couple of years ago surfaces in the fog of my brain and I nod. “Oh, right. Yeah, I remember Mike saying something a while back…” Once again, I tell myself that it would have been smart to ask for Cody’s number in return, just in case. At least then I would have known who was calling or texting me for help.
Hindsight is twenty-twenty…
“So, yeah. I guess he was right about you helping me if I needed it.” Cody’s chuckle is self-conscious, and he rubs his right bicep with his left hand, nibbling on his lower lip before adding. “Thank you for that. You didn’t have to—”
“Yeah, I did.” Even though I hadn’t known it was him, there’s no way I’m admitting that now. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Chapter Six
“Swoon!” Sylvia says as I recount Friday night and Saturday’s events in the safe cocoon of my studio apartment. She clutches a couch cushion to her chest and flops back against the armrest with a sigh. “He sounds likesucha dreamboat.”
She is, of course, talking about Kenneth.
“He is,” I acknowledge, though my tone is laced with disappointment. “But he’s really just a living fantasy.”
“Why?” Pushing her bob of dark-brown hair behind her ears, she frowns at me, pouting a little as she presses, “He told you that he thinks you’re hot. That’s, like, a green light for action or something.”
“Uh, were you not listening to the part where he heard me confess my crush and turned me down?Hey!” I bat away the cushion which she’s just hit me with.
“You didn’t tell him about your long-running crush. You told him you think he’s a silver fox. That’s it.”
My cheeks pink. “I’m sure he can use his context clues. I told him I didn’t want him to think of me as a child anymore. I basically threw myself at him in the most awkward way possible…What?”
Sylvia’s rounded face is contorted by her very poor attempt to conceal her amusement. At my question, she lets go of the cackle of laughter and shakes her head, leaning across the short distance between us on the love seat to pat my thigh consolingly. “Oh, Code. Honey…” Her lips are twitching. “My sweet, naïve, virginal friend.”
Closing my eyes, I lean my head back and groan. “Syl…”
“You sound like a thirteen-year-old, you know?Oh no, I told him he’s attractive, that’s basically begging him to bone me,” she mocks.
“I fucking hate you.”
“You love me.” The hand on my thigh squeezes and then gives my leg a shake. “But you’re being dramatic. Think about everything you’ve just told me andreallyconsider whether you threw yourself at him or whether you wish you’d grown the balls toactuallythrow yourself at him like a big boy.”
The thing I hate most is that she might have a point.
Okay, shedoeshave a point.
“I wouldn’t have the first cluehowto do that,” I admit. “I get into his orbit and suddenly I feel like my pubescent self again, all crushy and awkward and painfully out of his league.”
My best friend’s amusement softens into empathy. “I know, honey. But that’s because you’ve put him on a pedestal. He’s just like any other man you’ll meet on Grindr.”
“Yeah, becausethat’sa helpful analogy right now.”
“Shit. Sorry. But you know what I mean.” Sylvia relinquishes her hold on my thigh to reach for her glass of water on my battered and stained coffee table, bringing it to her lips and sipping delicately before setting it back down. She licks her lipsand then says, “He’s just a man, Code. Like you. Not a god. Not unattainable, and definitely no better than you.”
“Except youjustsaid he’s a dreamboat.”
“And so are you.”
I blink. She rolls her eyes. “You know you’re hot.” She repeats Kenneth’s words verbatim. “And you’re smart, and funny, and kind. Any man —the silver fox included— would be lucky to have you.”
Uncomfortable at the praise, I sit back and narrow my eyes at her, falling back on humor to defuse my discomfort. “Why are you being so nice?”
“I’m always nice.”
I arch an eyebrow. She blows a raspberry.
