These thoughts are completely silenced by the time my lubed fingers are stretching him out, watching his face to catalog every sign of pleasure and discomfort.
“Ken,” he whines as I take my time, writhing on my fingers, “I mighttechnicallybe a virgin, but—oh fuck, there. There. There. There!” He repeats the word with every thrust inside him, before he seemingly realizes he was mid-sentence. “B-but I play with toys. Way more in recent weeks than ever before.”
A grin pulls at my lips as I understand the implications of that confession. “Oh? Any particular reason why?” I sound smug even to my own ears.
“You know why—ah!” he arches off the mattress when I curl my fingers to prod at his prostate. “Fuck, Ken. Fuck. I’m gonna—”
“Nuh-uh,” I deny him, wanting more than anything to hear him confirm my understanding ofwhyhe was so driven to ride his dildos or vibrators recently. “Tell me why you’ve beenfucking yourself with your toys, sweetheart. What —who— have you been thinking about, hmm?”
“You!” he cries out, sounding wrecked and desperate. “You. I’ve…I’ve been—ohGod—th-thinking about you.”
“Was that so hard?” I practically purr, with elation thrumming through my veins. It’s an emotion laced with pride, yes, but the primary emotion is— “I love you.”
The words spill out of me, no longer contained by reason or fear.
Even if I hadn’t already known that Cody must feel the same way about me (because what other emotion would drive him to take the leap he did tonight?), I would still have declared my feelings. Besides, it’s only a tiny step beyond telling him that I want everything with him, right? And saying those words earlier was liberating.
Even if it is a cliché to profess feelings on Valentine’s Day, this moment feels right.
Well, okay, maybe I could have waited until my fingers weren’t stretching him open to take my cock…
“I love you, too.” Cody’s reply is breathless and filled with awe. He raises his head from my pillow to look at me through shining eyes and he flexes his hips. “Get inside me.Now.”
Wiping my fingers free of the remnants of lube on my sheets, I fumble with the condom packet in my haste to finally comply with his plea. I can feel his heated stare on me as I finally roll the sheath over my cock, and he spreads his legs wider to accommodate me as I settle over him.
Then I’m sliding inside him, moving forward in slow, incremental thrusts, the hesitance as much for my own sake as it is for his. His body practically sucks me inside, the warmth and clench of him feeling so damn perfect that I am on the knife’s edge of coming myself.
Sex has never felt like this before.
I don’t try to delude myself into thinking that it’s because it’s been a while, because I know that’s not the reason.
It’s our connection.
Before now, sex has always been enjoyable, but it’s only ever been physical. Now that I’ve fallen head over heels in love? It’s like I’m having sex in a whole new dimension.
My heart feels full, my nerve endings extra sensitized from endorphins and emotion. My breathing comes heavier as a strange tightness forms in my throat.
Beneath me, Cody is also panting, and his fingers are digging into the globes of my ass, holding me in place now that I’ve nestled my cock deep inside him.
“You okay?” The question comes out gruff and ragged, as though I’ve just pounded into him for minutes on end instead of slowly inching my way inside his tight heat.
His Adam’s apple bobs, but he nods. “Y-yeah. Just…gimme a minute.”
He groans as I lean down, closing the distance between us so I can gently kiss his lips. Resting my forehead against his, I murmur, “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Eighteen
If my teenaged self could see me now…
Impaled on Ken’s glorious cock, I can’t imagine a time where the idea of having sex seemed anything other than fan-fucking-tastic. If I thought the past weeks of exchanging mutual orgasms through blow jobs and hand jobs and frotting were amazing, those feelings werenothingin comparison to this.
Because this is more than just sex.
We’re making love.
This isn’t just about orgasms, even if sharing orgasms with Ken is a life-altering experience all on its own. No; this is about so much more than that. It’s about finally admitting how I feel about him and having those feelings reciprocated. It’s about trust, and vulnerability, and adoration, and worshipping each other. It’s about letting him see a side of me nobody else ever has, and knowing that I’m receiving the same privilege in return.
I never desired sex with strangers or dates I didn’t click with, and this is why.
