“It’s a blessing and a curse,” I agree.
“I’ll drink to that.”
***
By the end of January,Eldertidehas returned from its shortish hiatus. Ken comes over to watch the first new episode with me, and we end up making out and jerking each other off after the credits begin rolling. I want to say that it’s like we’ve returned to our usual routine, but with mutual orgasms, however…it feels like more than that now.
For example, our daily memes and messages feel deeper, somehow. And instead of just sending a laughing emoji at a meme about how much my day sucked, Ken actually called me on Wednesday and told me to come over to his place after work, which I did.
He cooked me dinner and listened to me ranting about other people not showing any attention to detail in their work, which meant I had to double-handle stuff that should have been completed in order to finally get to my actual job, and instead of brushing me off, he offered ideas for how to handle the situation if it happens again. By the time I left his place with my belly full of pasta, I felt a hell of a lot calmer.
I also felt like I’d been on a date.
And maybe the topic of conversation wasn’t exactly date appropriate, but I had butterflies all day on Thursday just thinking about how patient and understanding Ken had been, and how awesome his advice was when I took it and emailed my boss an action plan on increasing productivity across the team.
Then Ken called last night “just to check in,” and I wanted to invite him over then and there, even knowing he was going to be here tonight.
I resisted that urge.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m developing feelings when I shouldn’t be. Ken was clear from the start of whatever the fuck we’re doing that we can only ever be just friends. Friends who get each other off sometimes? Sure. But still just friends.
Except then tonight happened, and he called me sweetheart again, and he’s petting my hair as I come down from coming all over his hand and this can’t be just friendship, can it?
***
Me:
Brad asked me out for Valentine’s.
Sending the text has me feeling all squirmy in the stomach, but I remind myself that what Ken and I have been doing isjust casualand was all in the name of boosting my confidence to getback out there and date again. Nevertheless, I need his opinion on this. If he’s not okay with it, then maybe it’s a sign that my feelings for him might be reciprocated after all.
Silver Fox Ken:
Are you going to go?
Me:
I don’t know. Should I?
There’s a long stretch of time where I try not to get my hopes up that he’s going to tell me no, but is more likely that he’s busy with work. I snatch my phone from my desk as soon as the screen lights up with a text alert.
Silver Fox Ken:
Isn’t that why we became FWBs? Plus, you said he’s hot. Go for it, Cody.
My heart sinks a little, even though the response is exactly what I knew it would be.
Me:
I’ll think about it.
Silver Fox Ken:
Let me know how it goes.
***
“Hey, kiddo, how’s life treating you?”
