Cody Barratt:
Works for me.
***
Our first non-TV-related hangout feels a bit stilted. It could be because we’re out of routine, but I hate that we’re back to being awkward around each other again. Cody has become a friend —a close friend— and I don’t want to lose the ground we’ve made just because we’ve spent some time apart. I also don’t want to think that maybe the only thing we have in common isEldertide,because that would be depressing.
“So” —I try to break the weird tension as I hand him a beer and drop down on the couch beside him— “how’s work been this week?”
He scrunches up his nose and I hold up my hand to stall his reply. “Yeah, yeah, I heard it, too. You don’t need to tell me I sound like Mike.”
“Yeah, what’s with that?” he teases, and some of the weirdness seems to fade away as he laughs and waves his hand in the air. “I’m guessing it’s a ‘successful older guy’ thing. But I’ll humor you anyway.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” His sass is delivered with a cheeky grin and he sips his beer, finishing his mouthful with a little hiss before he squints down at the label. “Craft stuff. I should’ve guessed. Very bougie.”
“I thought you were humoring me.”
With an eyeroll, he finally relaxes back against the couch and shrugs. “It’s been a shit show trying to catch up on two weeks of emails and shit since the office was closed for the holidays. And they hired this new guy —Brad— and he’s…” Cody’s sentence tapers off into nowhere and he uses his free hand to pick at the label on his bottle.
“He’s…?” I prompt. “A dick? Useless?”
“…kinda hot, actually.”
Cody’s words make my gut twist, and I don’t want to acknowledge why.
I’m not allowed to be jealous when I’m the one who told him that I won’t ever act on our mutual attraction.
But I still don’t like hearing him call another man hot.
It’s okay when it’s an actor on a TV show we’re watching together, but when it’s a real life person? Someone he sees on a daily basis? I don’t like hearing it.
I need to suck it up and be a supportive friend, though.
“Yeah?” I ask, forcing a salacious smile which I know doesn’t quite sit right. I turn sideways in my seat, bringing my knee up onto the spare space between us. Cocking my head, I ask, “You gonna ask him out?”
“Me?” Cody laughs and shakes his head. “Sure. And I’ll march into my boss’s office and ask for a raise and a paid six-week vacation while I’m at it.”
“What’s so ridiculous about you asking a guy out?”
“Uh, have you met me, Ken?” I really don’t like his self-deprecating tone. “I’m awkward and shy and…just weird when I’m into someone. I mean, you saw me falling over myself the morning after you brought me back here. And Brad is…well, he’s tall, and dark, and handsome. He gives Henry Cavill vibes, y’know? And there’s no way a guy like that is gonna go for a twenty-six-year-old virgin like me.”
There’s a split second before his words register. Before I feel my jaw dropping at the same time as his pretty sea-colored eyes widen with horror.
“Shit,” he exhales, his freckled cheeks turning pink. “Shit. Fuck. Don’t…God, can you forget I said that?” He sets his beer down on the coffee table and leans over his knees, covering his face with his hands. “Can you forget, like, all of it?”
“Cody, sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with—”
“Nope. Nuh-uh. Don’t repeat it. It’s so pathetic.”
I bristle. “It’s not pathetic. You’re not pathetic. In fact—”
“I swear, if you’re going to say something lame like” —he puts on a deep, mocking voice— “it’s admirableorI wish I hadn’t spent my prime years fucking a whole bunch of hot men, I’ll scream.”
Despite how serious the conversation is, it’s a struggle not to laugh. My face contorts with the effort, my lips pulling together and my cheeks hollowing into the good old ‘duck face’ impression.
Cody scowls at me and I lose it.
