“Mikayla,Drew, Lisa…whatever it is you want to be called. Just explain,” he demands.
“I’ve already told you all that I’m willing to,” she states, her teeth grinding together as she stares down an angry Max.
“You can’t just sit there, claiming you’re protecting us, or whatever other reason your head has come up with, if you’re not going to tell us what the supposed threat is!”
She recoils at the sound and tone of his voice, and instinctively I want to run to her. Hold her and protect her from all that scares her. Kade beats me to it, wrapping his arm around her chest and pulling her back toward him. His expression shifts, switching from the annoyance he felt at the, albeit rude awakening, to anger with a need to protect.
This argument is becoming increasingly heated, with both Max and Mikayla set in their mindsets. The two of them have always been like this. Fun-loving and filled with laughter, but stubborn as fucking mules. Pin them against each other, and you have a battle that will only come to a conclusion when one of them dies.
I slink forward, finally regaining some of my own senses, and place my hand on Max’s shoulder. We need to stop, take a damn breath, and try this again. We aren’t her parents and she’s an adult, but the way Max is screaming at her, you wouldn’t have believed it.
“Look,” I begin, making sure to keep a natural face and calm tone. “Why don’t we all get dressed, get some coffee in our systems, and then we can sit in the living room and talk through this.”
The tension and heat within this room is thick, like wading through pudding, as we wait for either Max or Mik to agree. Minutes that feel like hours pass, our gazes bouncing between the two, and mine occasionally flickering over to a scowling Kade. It’s clear what we barged in on, or, at least, barged inafter,and somewhere inside there is a part of me that is pissed with my brother for going behind our backs. But whatever happened that led to them between the sheets, clearly stopped an escape in progress. So, how mad can Ireallybe?
After what can only be described as an eternity, Max is the one to break. “Fine!” he concedes, throwing his arms in the air and rushing out the door.
“Fine!” Mik shouts after him, her head falling into her hands.
Nothing more gets said, as both Ryder and I head for the door. With a last glance over my shoulder, I see Kade rubbing circles against Mik’s back, his lips to her ear whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to console her. The moment is intimate and tender, as I find myself not jealous of Kade, but jealous he got therefirst.That he gets to be the one picking up the pieces and gluing her back together after Max’s explosion.
An hour later, we’re sitting around the living room table, coffee in hand. It didn’t go unnoticed that Max chose to sit the absolute farthest away from Bear. Nor was it missed that Kade is practically glued to her side. The three of them won’t even look at each other for fuck sakes.
Taking another sip from my mug, I sigh. Apparently it’s gotta be me who starts the shit, because if I wait for them to do it, I’ll be needing a walking stick and glaucoma medication.
“Okay, first things first. I think we’re owed some sort of explanation, Mik.” I look at her, her head hanging, avoiding my gaze and fiddling with her fingers. It takes her a second before she glances at Kade, who gives a slight tip of his head, and her shoulders fall. It’s clear she was hoping he would jump to her defense. Instead, he places his hand against her spine, the pad of his thumb working against her back in a soothing motion.
“I don’t know what to tell you. My shit was packed and I was headed out when Kade stopped me.” She shrugs, as if that’s a good enough response. It’s only now that I notice her suitcase and backpack sitting at the front door. Discarded like she was literally caught right in the middle. “I told you, when you guys found me that day. I’m not the same person. I’m not safe to be around right now.”
“EXCEPT YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US WHY!” Max shouts, jutting forward in his seat. “IN FACT, YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US ANYTHING!”
His voice is still echoing throughout the room, and it’s like I can see the walls being rebuilt around Mik’s heart and soul. The very same ones that have kept her protected all these years, that I knew had been coming down in the last couple of days. Slowly allowing us glimpses at the new her, the real her.
“Max!” I scold, shaking my head in utter astonishment. His lack of tact in this situation is not helping in the slightest. He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and throwing himself back against the chair. Acting like a toddler throwing a god damn tantrum.
“You’re right,” Mik responds, her voice calm but shaky. “I haven’t told you anything, because not knowing is better in this case. Not knowing is what keeps you safe, protected.” Her voice drops as she looks at her hands again. “What keeps you alive.”
Now, I think we all had the inclination that her repeating “it’s not safe” over and over like a motto was due to someone in her past. A brute or Ex throwing threats her way. Someone trying to be a dominating presence in her life, turning up wherever she went, possibly trying to persuade her with a beating, maybe two. But in all the scenarios we conjured, I don’t think it ever crossed our minds that she could have been talking about something as serious asdeath.
This is Bear, for fuck sakes. No matter what she’s gone through, she’s still the same person at the core of it all. The girl who brightens our days, and laughs like a hyena. Who collects keychains, loves koalas, and was always there when you needed a shoulder to lean on. She’s still all of those things, so her being involved in something that could resort to a death? Is that even possible?
“Bear, what the hell are you so deep in the middle of?” I ask once again, praying this time she opens up and gives us an answer.
Finally looking at me, eyes glassy and tears gathering at the corners, it’s like I see the broken woman underneath the shield. Whatever it is that she’s avoiding, that she’s running from, she wants it to end. The exhaustion is there, written across her face like a neon sign. She’s ready for it all to be over, to let it all out, but the fear of something happening that she can’t control… it stops her. Prevents her from allowing us close enough to see what’s going on.
“I’m sorry, Z,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry. But I can’t… I just can’t.”
A lump forms in my throat watching the girl that I love hurt so badly. With nothing I can do to help because she won’t allow me in. Allow any of us in.
“Babe,” Ryder lilts, standing from his spot by the fireplace and walking over to perch on the edge of the table in front of her. He leans forward, enveloping her hands within his and holding onto them tightly. Her body physically relaxes, shoulders lowering from her ears, as small whimpers escape from between her lips. Every ounce of her attention is locked on his eyes, as he soothingly strokes her wrists.
“We love you, Bear. You’ve got to have figured that out by now. You’re the be-all end-all, for all of us. We need you to know that, because there is nothing we wouldn’t do to keep you with us. To keep you safe.” His eyes flicker to the rest of ours, a silent question within them if this is what we want to do. When none of us object, he brings his focus back to her. “We discussed it a couple of days ago and we were supposed to wait on anything physical until we talked to you.” His eyes narrow, glaring at Kade. “But with the events of this morning, we need to let you know. Weallwant you, Bear. To be with you in whichever capacity you’ll have us,together.”
And there it is. The secret we’ve all been harboring officially out in the open. I just hope the feelings she has for Kade apply to the rest of us as well.
She gasps, quick and sharp, as her eyes dart between each one of our faces.Even Max.There’s nothing left to hide in terms of our love for this girl, and the expressions we all carry reflect that. What I didn’t expect however, is her face to scrunch, furrowing and tightening, like she’s fighting conflicting emotions within her.
Her body shifts, twitching and twisting as if ants were crawling under her skin. Until she looks at Kade with a quivering lip and narrowed eyes, the tears that she had been trying so hard to avoid begin falling against her cheeks.
