Instinctively, I retreat back trying to keep the distance between us. Only stopping when the hall table presses against my lower spine. Kade never stops however, dropping my bag when he’s only a few feet from me before closing the gap. His arms cage me in, braced against the table's edge around me, his body only inches away from mine.
I’ve got no way to escape, no way to run. Stuck like a critter in a trap. Only the trap has green eyes, labored breaths, and a scowl across his face.
“Tell me why, Bear,” he orders, his voice an explosion against the quietness of the hall.
I can no longer hold his gaze, its intensity feels as though he’s ripping apart my soul and my eyes fall to the floor.Why, why did it have to be him?My soft spoken and sweet one.
The way he looks at me with so much hurt, so much betrayal, nearly has me collapsing right here. This is why I chose to leave the way I did. To disappear among the shadows, instead of watching the hurt splayed across their faces in its rawest form.
“It’s not safe,” I manage to whisper, my voice cracking from the pain. “I won’t let you guys be hurt because of me. Won’t put you in the middle of something you should never have been a part of.”
“Maybe that’s not your decision to make, Addison! It’s ours! We get to decide if we want to be in the middle with you!”
His voice has been slowly rising as the words flow out, but it’s the use of my name—my dead name—that has the last remaining threads of restraint I have, snapping.
“I told you, Addison is dead! She’s fucking gone, Kade!!” I snap, on the brink of a screaming match. My head tilts to look back at his face and the frustration is building behind his eyes.
“But why! Why is she dead?! You won’t tell us anything! You just keep running away! Don’t you understand?! Can’t you see it?!” he fumes as tears threaten to fall from his eyes.
“See what?!!”
His face relaxes, but the hurt in his gaze is clear. Whatever it is that I can’t see, that I’m not understanding, is hurting him—deeply. As if all the remaining fight has left his body, his shoulders slump forward and his eyes flutter closed. His arms no longer cage me in, instead hanging limp at his sides and his head falls.
Although my head screams at me to leave, to grab my shit and run, my heart cries for the boy I loved and the agony he’s portraying. I can’t—I won’t—leave him like this. I’ve loved each of these men since we were little, trailing behind them like a lost sheep, hoping they would notice me. There’s not a cell within my body that doesn’t yearn to see them smile or hear them laugh. Even if I’m the cause of the pain, I have to try and fix it. To make him understand this is only necessary for all of our survival.
Taking a small step forward, I reach out for his hands and intertwine my fingers with his. His grip tightens, as I rub small circles against his skin, hoping to ease some of his pain.
“Kade, I’m sorry. I really don’t want to hurt any of you, but you have to understand—”
“No,I’m refusing right now, Bear. You don’t get to say goodbye and just leave us again. Not after wejustgot you back. I will not lose you, I can’t lose you,” he whimpers, pressing his forehead to mine. “I wouldn’t survive it a second time.”
He tears his hands from my grasp, reaching them up to cup my jaw and tilt my head to face him. My eyes bounce between his, the green orbs seemingly cataloging every inch of my face, until they land on my lips. With a single tug, he pulls me closer to him, and bends down until we’re sharing the same air. My heart is racing towards an aneurysm with how fast it’s gotten, and all coherent thoughts have left my head.
The tension climbs as we stare into each other, and for a moment he seems to hesitate. His body relaxes ever so slightly, before he jolts forward and takes my lips into a searing kiss. A day I’ve dreamed about for years, but never thought would actually come, has happened. Kade is kissing me.
Holy shit, I’m kissing Kade!
Standing on the tips of my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck, latching onto his hair and holding him to me. His lips are full and soft as they dance with mine, but this kiss is not slow or loving. It’s born from a hunger developed over a decade. A need that has been buried deep within each of us, only now seeing the light.
One of his hands drops to my waist, continuing to slide down until he’s gripping my thigh and pulling it to his hip. The motion makes me gasp, and this new forceful Kade uses the opportunity to deepen our embrace. Tongues are now dancing in some sort of lustful tango, as we devour each other in need.
When we finally do break for air, my head is swimming in a haze of lust and arousal. The heat building in my core could warm a small village, as my hands move, bracing against his bare chest. Kade’s mouth doesn’t leave my skin, peppering kisses down my jaw and neck. My head tilts to the side, providing more access, and when he sucks on my pulse point, I mewl.
“I’m in love with you, Bear,” he mumbles, punctuating his words with more kisses before pulling back. His thumb runs across my lower lip, as he gently lifts my chin. “I have been since I was thirteen. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else, touch anyone else. You are the gravity holding me to this earth, Mikayla. You’re all there’s ever been for me, all there’s ever going to be.”
My breath catches as I try to do anything more than just blink at the man. His words are still bouncing around my head, trying to register themselves within my brain. The room stays silent as I think, our heavy pants the only sound in this quiet night.
I’m stunned, shocked, downright flabbergasted. When I realized all those years ago that I had feelings for the four people I called my best friends, I had determined that I was certifiably insane. That nothing would ever come from what I felt, and over the years I buried the love I had deep within the darkness inside. Telling myself that as long as I didn’t think about it, about them, they’d be safe.
Now, here’s this man that has occupied an increasing number of my wet dreams, confessing his decade-long affection.
It goes against every instinct I’ve built for myself in this life, every fiber within me that has been woven in an effort to protect. But looking into Kade’s eyes, standing here in his arms, I can no longer think of a rational reason to deny myself.
“I love you, too,” I murmur, and it’s like someone set off fireworks within the house.
My arms encircle his neck, forcefully bringing him back down to me while his hands settle on my hips. Our lips mold together in perfect harmony, the kisses becoming frantic and needy. His arms drop, grabbing me by my ass and picking me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding slightly against the large mass now pressing against my core. There’s no stopping, and how he knows where he’s going is beyond me, but we clomp up the steps. Bags forgotten, anger dissipated, just two people desperate to please each other.
Chapter Twenty-Two
