Yeah, cause that will win them over…
Not exactly the best way to gain back the people who mean the most to you. The only ones you have left in your life—even if they don’t know it.
“Look, I’m not going to be able to give you the answers you want to hear. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to, and I know that’s not fair but… You have to believe me and trust me when I say it’s better if I just go.” I place my palm against Max’s chest, my head tilting and my eyes softening as I look at him again. His eyes drop from mine first, looking down briefly before closing completely, and I place a quick peck to his cheek.
I know it’s unfair, that there are so many unanswered questions behind their eyes, but it’s for the best. For them more than anything else. My hand slides off as I move past him, heading for my room and my future of being alone. Maybe I’ll have this all sorted in a few years and they can find it in their hearts to listen to me then.
Just as I approach the edge of the parking lot, a hand grabs me firmly around the wrist halting my movement. Without glancing back, I hang my head and close my eyes as I wait for what they’re going to say.
“No!” utters Kade, authoritative and demanding.
My body spins to look at him with wide eyes and a lump in my throat. He’s never been this assertive and commanding before. Never been the one to make waves or contradict. This new Kade is… hot.
“No, you’re not running from us anymore.Twelve yearswe’ve been searching for you, Bear.Twelve years,I’ve spent day and night going through every camera, satellite image, and government database, looking for any sign that you were still alive. Praying that I could find you. And now that I have, I’m not letting you go again.”
Chapter Twelve
Kade
We stood there staring at each other for a while, both of us in shock from my statement. I’m not sure where that came from. I’ve never been the assertive one and especially not to Bear.
Recognizing the need for this conversation to be a private affair, instead of out in the open for everyone and their grandmothers to hear, she had us follow her into her room. It’s strikingly apparent she does not want to have this little chat, but I’m not about to give her a choice. I meant what I said and I refuse to lose her again, butfuckis it going to be hard to concentrate.
I listened whenthe other three described her, but not having seen her myself, I couldn't visualize it in my head. Seeing her now, adult Addison is absolutely gorgeous. Even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, if that’s even possible.
I’ve been staring at her for the last ten minutes, from the moment we caught her trying to slyly get away—which Zane found less humorous than I did—to now, as she paces around her tiny motel room.
She’s picking up stuff aimlessly in an attempt to keep her hands busy, a nervous tick she had as a child as well. The need to fiddle with something while your mind flipped over itself trying to make sense of the situation. Especially when the conversation is heavy or getting heated. I’m not entirely sure why, but it warms something deep within my gut to know that little things like that still exist in the adult version.
“Okay, listen,” she begins, folding a pair of pants for what can only be the fifteenth time. “First things first, Addison Grant is dead. You can’t call me that anymore.”
“What—” Zane begins but is swiftly cut off.
“Nope, that’s in the you do not need to know pile. All you need to know is that I go by Mikayla Arnet now. That is the only name you’re allowed to use. Got it?” she asks with a no-nonsense tone and we all nod silently in agreement.
“Can we still call you Bear though?”
I swear Ry is moments away from breaking down if she tells him no. He was the one who gave her that nickname and the one who shortened it. It might actually cause his heart to break, not using it. Add—I mean Mikayla, walks over to him, clearly able to see the inner turmoil he’s facing as much as the rest of us. She stops just before where he’s perched on the edge of the twin bed, and takes ahold of his hands. Her gaze is locked on his, giving him all of her attention.
“Yes, but only when it’s just us for now,” she utters on a soft breath, placing her hand against his cheek. Her thumb strokes against his face in a placating motion, him practically melting into her touch.Lucky bastard.
“Which brings me to my next point. There are things that I can’t… that Iwon’t,tell you. Things that I will not have you involved in. It’s not safe… I’m not safe.”
My eyes narrow as I watch her walk away and over to the dresser. One hand rubbing at the nape of her neck, the other wrapped around her stomach. I don’t think she meant for us to hear the last part of that, speaking it in no more than a hushed whisper, but I caught it. The way her eyes look as though they’re a million miles away and how her shoulders sank when she said it, has an uneasy feeling turning over in my gut.
“I’m not the little girl you guys remember. If I’m being honest, she died that night back in Texas. I don’t even know if you would like the person standing before you today, but if you’re here hoping for the same little carefree bundle of joy and innocence. That same young girl from twelve years ago, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to give that to you.”
Her head hangs low as she settles into the chair, allowing us to absorb her words. What happened to her in this last decade, to make her think for even a moment, that we wouldn’t love or care for her anymore? No matter how much she has changed. She’s still our Bear, our best friend, and the only girl I will ever love.
“I can’t speak for the rest of them, but for me, I don’t care,” I finally declare. I may have been the last one to physically see the new Bear. And I may have been skeptical until she was for sure in front of my own eyes. But hell would need to freeze over and Satan would have to kiss my shoes before I let her get away from me again. She could be missing a limb and have gone bald and I would still cling to her like Velcro.
“You don’t care?” She looks at me, her eyebrow raising to the sky.
“Nope, not even a little,” I contest without hesitation. Standing up, I walk over to her and kneel beside the chair, placing my hand on top of her knee. “It doesn’t matter to me who you think you are, what your name is now, or how much you believe you’ve changed. To me, you are and will always be my Bear. My best friend, my ride-or-die, and one of the handful of people I would lay my life down for. I’ve spent the last decade scouring every corner of this earth, trying to find you. To know that you were okay. I devoted my entire life and career to searching for you, there is no way a different personality or behavior is going to make me run now.”
“I agree, Bear. We just got you back and sure, you may think everything has changed, and a lot probably has. But I still see the same person from all those years ago, just a lot more grown up, and maybe not as fragile. I, for one, would love to learn about the new you. To see how you’ve evolved, grown, and adapted,” adds Ryder.
Mik’s gaze sweeps across the room, looking from Ry to Max and Z before finally landing back on me. Staring into her eyes, I watch as her face hardens. The logic she had for running, is fighting against the care and compassion in our words. She’s been conditioned to believe she has to go at whatever she’s doing alone, but it’s time for her to remember that was never her only option.
