This week has been tough as shit. First, Max had us all on edge, worried that he was heading straight for a mental breakdown. Then Ryder joined in on this delusion, and Kade and I were starting to wonder if there was something in thewater. Combine those two with Bear’s anniversary yesterday, and let’s just say, it has not been smooth sailing in the house.
The weight of her day hit us all hard, like anvils had been dropped on our chests, but we persevered and followed our routine. The morning was spent at the beach and the afternoon at the house. When we left, we all piled into the purple jeep we bought her, listening to her favorite band. We stopped and got her favorite ice cream, before sitting along the coast in silence.
The entire day, all I thought about was her. Her laugh, her smile, the way she felt in my arms. Everything I would miss about her, and everything I wish I could tell her. Addy was like fuel to my fire, always there when I started to burn out. Her mere presence provided the ignition I needed to continue on. The world could burn, aliens could take over, but as long as I had Addison near me, it was like nothing bad could touch us.
I miss her comfort, I miss her reassurance. I miss the naivety.
After all the added stress this week, I needed a way to let off some steam. So, when a buddy of mine sent out the e-invite for his thirtieth at Club LIV tonight, I jumped.
The club scene has never been for me. It’s always too loud, too crowded, but tonight I figured what the hell. Use it as the distraction it was. Showered, shaved, and dressed, we arrived at the main entrance around eleven. The club was already packed, a line pouring out of the double doors. Men and women shifting on their feet or bouncing slightly as they wait to get in. Thank the high heavens Steven had pre-booked this place, because if I had to have stood in that, I would’ve been turning around and going home.
Inside the club, the music blared through the speakers, making it nearly impossible to hold a conversation unless you screamed at each other. A blonde in a tiny red dress led us up the stairs to one of the VIP booths along the balcony. The group of us sliding into seats and immediately getting comfortable.
Steven whispered in the hostess’s ear and she took off, only to return a few minutes later with a bottle of scotch in one hand and several glasses in the other. I could get used to this VIP thing. Table service, a place to sit, and other than theloud music with enough bass to make you think there’s an earthquake, it wasn’t bad.
I sipped at my glass of scotch, relishing the smooth burn as it went down, but not really feeling the need to be social. I wanted a distraction, something to keep my head occupied and my heart glued together, but this…
Yeah, it wasn’t working.
Ashley, Steven’s sister, managed to drag a few people down to dance. She also tried to get me to join, insisting it would improve my mood and fix my face, but I declined. The fuck does she mean fix my face, anyway? There was nothing wrong with my face, my face was fine.Hmph.
I grabbed my glass and headed over to the railing for a change of view. My eyes instantly fell on the group as they drunkenly flailed around, pretending they had rhythm. I’m pretty sure at one point, Steven was doing the Macarena, or at least, a strange alternate universe version of it. It actually had me chuckling as I watched him swing his arms and hips like he was the only person out there. The guy has always been good for a laugh.
The waitress approached again, asking if I needed a refill and I agreed while handing her the empty glass. I didn’t even realize I had finished it, which made me smile. It was working, I just had to let myself forget. My eyes scanned over the crowd again, searching for the goof I called my friend. Although, I couldn’t seem to find him anywhere among the dancing patrons. I did, however, spot a beautiful woman slinking through the crowd toward the bar.
I couldn’t see her face, as her hair dropped against the side like a dark veil, but from what I could see of her in between the dancing bodies, told me she was stunning. Her presence alone had a command to it, like she was the main authority figure in the room and everyone knew it.
I followed her movements as she made her way across and down to the end of the bar. The lights from behind the counter obscured her features while she leaned against it to get the attendants attention. But the second she moved back and the underglow was no longer lighting up her face from a weird angle… I forgot how to breathe. The air had pushed out of my lungs and there was no communication to my brain to inhale again. I stood there, mouth agape, in a complete stunned silence.
Addy…?
Well, it’s no wonder I found her so damn gorgeous. Even just staring at the back of her head. Addison was—I mean is—a beauty. She was a gorgeous child; lean, athletic, but now… well, let’s just say she’d bloomed like a spring rose. Her petals swayed with morning dew in the soft light of dawn. My head snapped back from the trance her body held me captive in as it realized the others were right.
She was actually here, and alive. My feet were twitching, itching to run to her. To swoop her up into my arms and never let her go. My eyes glued to her, burning and stinging from lack of moisture. As if blinking would make her disappear. Her head swiveled, looking over the crowd. If I had to guess I would have said, she could feel my eyes on her, watching her every move.Sorry, not sorry.And then came the moment she looked up and our eyes locked onto each other. Her orbs of green—intense yet timid.
I was the first to break the lock, as I hit the stairs in a run. I wouldn’t make the same mistake as my brothers. I wouldn’t lose her. Bounding down the spiral staircase, I hurriedly pushed my way through the crowd toward the bar. Elbows were thrown left and right as I tried to get past the large swarm of people. A few yelled, threw curses my way, but right then I couldn’t give a shit what they thought. The group opened up, and I rushed forward, but when I hit the bar she was no longer there. This couldn’t happen again, not for a third time. I knew that it was her, I was absolutely positive.
Think, Mathers, think.
If she’s avoiding us, running, the logical thing would be to get out of the building. That has to be where she went, so that’s what I’ll do as well. Walking quickly to the main doors, I tap out a message to Steven, letting him know something came up and I had to leave. Hopefully he doesn’t think I’m too much of a dick after tonight.
The midnight air hits hard, its warm embrace and salty smell only masked by the scent of alcohol and urine from the alley next to the club. There’s a slew of intoxicated adults at the entrance of it, huddled together, probably praying forwhoever is puking their guts out against the wall. I do a quick search, but none of them are who I’m looking for. My hope is fading fast, as the more time spent spinning in circles, the further away she could get, until I catch a single glare.
There, hidden among the shadows by her all black outfit and black locks, is Addy, walking down the sidewalk. The glimmer from a latch on her purse was the only notification to my eye that she was there. Like a shadow herself, only seen when the light hits just right. She’s in a rush, her feet moving at a brisk pace, but she hasn’t gotten too far away yet.
“Bear! Wait, please!”
My hand is outstretched as I take a few more steps towards her. My scream caused her to halt and stiffen, providing the last remaining proof I needed to know that she is indeed alive. Her legs are taut, and her shoulders rolled back, like someone shoved a metal bar through her spine. She hasn’t moved yet and I worry that she might be waiting for me to say something. Iwantto. I want to tell her everything I’ve ever thought about her, but upon opening my mouth, nothing comes out. It just hangs open, unmoving, as I choke on my own spit.
Her head finally turns to look at me, but all I can see is the anguish in her eyes. Those orbs that once shone brightly whenever I saw them. Glowing, like I had hung the moon and painted the stars, are now dull and pained. For only just a moment her gaze softens, and her shoulders fall as if she finally realized she’s caught. But the moment I take a single step forward—she takes off.
I’m after her in an instant, but she seems to have the upper hand. Even while wearing high heels and a short as fuck dress. Her movements are quick, her body agile. She’s ducking and dodging through the side streets and alleyways like second nature. Not once does she stop or look back, and within minutes I’ve lost all sight of her.
How is she even able to move in that outfit? Let alone run away from me.
My mind goes into overdrive, searching every nook-and-cranny for her. Long buried memories resurfacing as I again search for the girl of my dreams, only this time I know she was here. If I can get a glimpse, just the tiniest view of which direction she’s headed, I may be able to follow.
It’s another thirty minutes of searching before I call it quits, and for the third time in the past few days—she’s gone. Too fast for me to follow and able to hide like a gator in a swamp.Fuck!
