He looked at Mateo. He looked at Stephen. Then he looked at me.
"Them," he whispered. "I need them."
It was biology. It was the heat demanding the Alpha presence.
"Okay," I said. I turned to the two men standing like statues by the door. "Get out."
Stephen blinked. "Rowan, we can't?—"
"Get out," I repeated. "Wait on the porch. Give me five minutes."
"He’s in distress," Mateo rumbled, his feet planted.
"He’s in a crisis," I countered. "And if you touch him right now, while he’s terrified that I hate him, he’s going to feel coerced. He needs to know he has a choice before the biology makes the choice for him. Get. Out."
Mateo looked at Juno. Juno gave a ragged, barely perceptible nod.
The Alphas left. The heavy wooden door clicked shut, leaving us in the sudden, ringing silence.
I didn't rush to him. I walked to the small kitchenette. I found a clean glass. I filled it with water from the tap. I found a wool blanket draped over an armchair.
I walked back to the sofa.
"Drink," I said, handing him the glass.
Juno took it. His hands were shaking so hard half the water sloshed onto his wrist, but he drank.
I wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. I pulled it tight, tucking the ends in, cocooning him. It was a containment strategy.
"I'm angry," I said, sitting on the dusty coffee table in front of him, my knees brushing his.
Juno flinched. "I know."
"I am furious," I corrected. "I hate being managed, Juno. And you managed me. You curated my reality."
"I didn't want to lose you," he whispered. The burnt sugar scent spiked, agonizingly sweet.
"Well, you haven't," I said.
He looked up, startled.
"I'm angry," I repeated, holding his gaze. "And I'm staying. Those two things can exist in the same space. I can be furious at the lie and still refuse to leave the liar in the middle of the woods."
"Rowan..."
"Why the concealment?" I asked. "Really? Not the strategy. The fear."
"Because seven years ago I trusted a Beta manager," Juno said, his voice hollow. "And when I presented, when the heat hit... he didn't see an asset anymore. He saw a liability. "
I sat with that. I couldn't argue with the trauma. I couldn't tell him he was wrong to be afraid, because the system I worked inwasa monster. I had just drafted the paperwork to kill it, but it was still alive.
"Okay," I allowed. "I accept the data."
I reached out. I placed my hand on his knee, over the blanket.
"The Alphas," I said. "You need them?"
"Yes," he breathed. "The heat... it hurts, Rowan. It’s like being hollowed out."
