“I…I do not know how I will reconnect Mary with her uncle now.”
There. That was it. That was what truly worried Dawn. Despite the security and comfort she and Mary would find in his family’s love and acceptance should they choose to travel with them, it did not reach to the root of the problem. His family was traveling west, to the same area as her stepparents. But did Jacob have to?
With the experience he gained navigating unknown lands as a scout and messenger, he could escort Dawn and Mary north to Bryan’s Station. It was the perfect opportunity for him to blaze his own path. If there were raids to the north, he could serve on the frontlines rather than simply delivering messages from camp to camp for once, all while protecting Dawn from the danger. Perhaps he could finally make a name for himself and, in the process, win Dawn’s heart.
“I shall take you.”
Dawn’s blue eyes, the same shade as the clear sky above, snapped to his, and her lips parted.
“You shall not!” Jared jumped to his feet.
Jacob rose as well, his fingers coiling into fists at his side. No longer would he let his brothers have influence over his life. “This is not your decision to make.”
Their mother rose and held up both hands. “No. This is not Jared’s decision. Nor is it entirely yours, Jacob.” She inclined her head toward him, giving him the pointed look that only a mother could. “Dawn should hold the final decision. But it is also a decision which should not be made on a whim. You should both thoroughly consider the risks involved. Come, let us take a walk.”
“Ma…” Jared started to protest, but their mother shot a look in his direction that could quell even a grown man’s tongue.
Then she turned her attention back to Dawn and Jacob. “Dawn, Mary may stay here with Jemimah.”
Little Mary looked up to Dawn with a question in those big blue eyes that were only a single shade lighter than Dawn’s. One dip of Dawn’s chin was all that was required before she scampered off to join his sister, though. Then he and Dawn followed his mother off over the hillside, away from her stepparents and his brothers and sister, and along the tree line.
The afternoon sun was still high in the sky, beating down on them with enough intensity to cause him to sweat beneath his linen shirt and waistcoat. The shade offered by the leaves overhead would be welcome should their discussion grow lengthy. Hopefully, Dawn would be agreeable to his plan, though, and a decision would be reached directly.
For as long as it took her or his mother to utter a word, though, his confidence waned. ’Twas understandable that his mother would have reservations about her youngest son venturing off into the wilderness alone, but why was Dawn so quiet? A quick glance in her direction revealed nothing.
She stared straight ahead, her arms and her petticoats swinging slightly with each step. The sound of their steps swishing against the grass filled the silence and joined the high-pitched droning of the cicadas.
“Dawn, what do you make of my son’s plan?” His mother did not turn toward them when she finally spoke up. Instead, she continued ahead of them in her even steps, as though they were simply out for a saunter on a Sunday evening.
Dawn slipped a glance at Jacob. “I do not wish to impose upon his plans, but, honestly, it would be wonderful if he could escort us.”
Jacob stopped and faced her, resisting the urge to take her hand in his. “I have no plans. Besides helping build a homestead upon arrival, I had mapped no part of my future in my mind.”
Contrary to the comfort he had hoped the words would offer, a small wrinkle appeared between Dawn’s brows. “Will it still be possible for you to build with Jacob’s absence?”
His mother gave her a gentle smile. “Of course, my dear. Do not let concern for the rest of us be a weight upon your decision. This is between you and Jacob. I only wish for the two of you to take time and consider if this is God’s will for your lives. Have you thought what impact this might have on your reputation?”
Dawn swallowed, and her cheeks reddened. “I…I assumed my reputation was already ruined with the people traveling with us. When we first started out on our journey, I overheard a conversation. Someone assumed Mary was my illegitimate child. I thought nothing of it, for people tend to think little of me, anyway.” Her glance slid down to where her left hand was missing. “My concern is not for myself, though. I only wish to do what is best for Mary, whatever the cost.”
An ache spread through Jacob’s chest. This was the Dawn he knew and who had captured his interest all those years ago. The kind, caring woman who valued every breath of life God had placed in this world. Someone who would give up any and all to care for those that she loved.
However painful it had been at the time, that was why Dawn had disappeared from his life—to care for her mother in her time of need. And from what it seemed, she had done nothing but give of herself in the years since.
No longer did that have to be the case. Now was the time for him to begin making Dawn’s wishes come true. If helping Mary unite with her uncle was what her heart desired, then he would see that it happened. But she should not have to sacrifice her reputation in the process. After all, she already held his heart.
Now, Jacob did capture her thin hand in his. Where the soft, tender flesh of a woman’s hand should be was the dry, calloused skin earned through manual labor. His fingers tightened around hers. He may not be able to prevent the need for her to perform such tasks here in the wilderness, but he could help her carry her burdens.
“Dawn, there should be no cost to your reputation. Marry me.”
Dawn’s mouth dropped open. Had Jacob truly uttered the words she believed he did? His brows were raised, and his chocolate eyes watched, waiting for an answer. Yes. Yes, he must have. But surely, she had heard wrong.
At one time, she dreamed that a matured Jacob McFadin would come find her and sweep her off her feet. But that was all it was—a dream. No matter how wonderful their days of exploring along the banks of the pond and in the meadow had been, it was child’s play. The reality was that no one in the world could love her as her parents had. And if Jacob did not see that now, he would eventually.
“Jacob. I…I could not let you do such a thing.” She looked down. After withdrawing her hand from the tantalizing sweetness of Jacob’s touch, Dawn wrapped her fingers around her other wrist, above the lumpy stump with the odd little finger. Tears swam in her eyes. If only she were whole, she would marry this man in the blink of an eye.
He placed the crook of his finger under her chin and coaxed her gaze to his. His handsome face, so strong and reassuring, was blurred. “You know that I do not care.”
Dawn swallowed. There was a time when she would have believed his words, and with all of her heart, she wanted to believe in them even now. But life had proven to her that it simply was not possible. The people that should have cared for her, her own stepparents, had treated her worse than dirt, all because she was born different. “You will care,” she whispered.
