Just standing beside him without touching was like a heavenly assault. His heat, his clean scent, his rich voice, his breathtakingly handsome face, all battered her senses.
The only relief was to give in, but she wasn’t ready to fall back into their easy relationship without a little more time to learn to trust him again. Nor did she want to toy with his feelings while she learned to trust her own.
Which meant another night alone, trying to smother the side of her that wanted to tell caution to fuck right off.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ON THURSDAY MORNING, after a long, lonely night in his own bed, Todd sat at the dining table in Jason Chin’s Fairfax condo, watching his best friend and Lindsey chatting as if they were old pals. Jason looked better than he’d expected. Especially for someone who now had a metal rod in his leg, severe damage to his quadriceps, and wore a brace from hip to ankle that necessitated crutches.
My fault. Except Todd was trying to push past the guilt, to acknowledge that Jason had chosen to help intervene with Pete on Bethany’s behalf. Neither of them had expected Pete to starting shooting.
They’d both been doing the best they could. Todd needed to give himself a break, and remember that Jason was as fallible as anyone.
Hard to do when the woman Todd loved appeared to be falling under Jason’s spell. As most women did. And why not? He was good-looking, athletic, confident, and friendly.
If the man ever decided he was ready to marry, he could snap his fingers and a bride would probably appear as if summoned by a genie. Although, now that Todd thought about it, despite the massive collection of phone numbers he must have, Jason rarely dated.
Why was that?
When Lindsey stepped out onto the balcony to make a phone call, Todd blurted, “I’m sorry.”
Jason brow furrowed. “For what?”
Todd splayed his fingers on the table next to the box of donuts he and Lindsey had brought over. “I haven’t been a very good friend to you.”
“I don’t understand.” Jason absently tugged at the tight curls on his head, which were veering toward the beginnings of an Afro after several weeks without a haircut. He gestured to his injured leg. “None of this was your fault.”
Todd rubbed his forehead. “I’m slowly coming to terms with that, but taking off before you were even ready for visitors was a shit move. I should’ve been here for you, and I don’t know how to make it right.”
Jason nodded and sat back with his arms crossed. “I’ll admit, I was kind of pissed that you left.”
The words sliced through Todd like a hot knife.
“But if our situations were reversed, I’d have probably done the same thing.” Jason toyed with the flap of the donut box. “And, if something happened to you, I’m not sure I’d be able to face it either.”
Emotion clogged Todd’s throat. He blinked and took a swig of coffee. “Aw. You really do love me.”
Jason laughed. “Asshole.”
Todd just grinned.
Until Jason shifted in his seat, the wince he tried to hide twisting Todd’s gut. “Now while we’re on the subject of feelings, tell me what’s up with Lindsey. She seems pretty great.”
“She is.” Todd twirled his coffee cup. “But I fucked up and chickened out, told her I didn’t see a future for us.”
Jason shook his head. “And now you do?”
Todd nodded. How could he have ever thought otherwise?
“What makes her any different from Gabrielle. Or Leti?”
“Everything.” Todd had cared about women he’d dated before, but his heart had never been fully engaged. Lindsey was another matter altogether. With her, his heart wasn’t just engaged, it was already in California.
“Unfortunately, I’ve lost her trust.”
“Obviously not completely. She’s here with you now. I’m sure you’ll think of a way to convince her you’re serious.” Jason plucked a maple donut from the box and set it on his plate. “Or maybe, you’ll be the one to beg off after you get to know her better.”
Not a fucking chance in hell.
