Across the table, Todd started to lift his arms behind his head, but flinched and quickly dropped them. Someone had treated his wound earlier and given him pain meds, but it wasn’t like a paper cut that would heal in a few days. Her own arm ached in sympathy.
“Damn, Lindsey.” He sighed and rested his forearms on his thighs, tapping those long fingers that had helped bring her to bliss last night. “Okay. One, I don’t like that you don’t trust me. And two, I don’t like that you live on the West Coast, because it gives you another excuse for pushing me away.”
If she were honest, she wasn’t particularly happy about those things either. “Those are cheat answers. They’re not really aboutme. Especially considering that where I live is one of the reasons you pushed me away in the first place.”
He tilted his head and thinned his lips. “The first one isn’t a cheat. It’s about your confidence in both of us. You don’t trust yourself to make the right choice, and you don’t trust me to know my own mind.” His gaze dropped to his knee, which he absently rubbed with his thumb. “From what little I know of your history, I get it, but I hate that anyone ever made you doubt your worth.Especiallyme. My part in it goes back to my own insecurities, the things I need to work on.” He looked her in the eyes, softening his voice. “I know I’m not the first man to hurt you, sweetheart, but I for damn sure hope I’m the last.”
Her insides turned to mush, and tears threatened, but she closed her eyes tight and scrunched her nose to hold them back.
Whatshedidn’t like abouthimwas that he said the most incredible things. He tempted her to say “fuck it” and run into his arms. Instead, she cleared her throat and met his gaze. “Fine. I’ll give you the first one.”
“Yesss.” He made a little fist pump.
She couldn’t help but smile.
His sexy grin flashed and then fell away. He stared at her and turned sideways, resting his bent leg on the cushion, closing the distance between them without touching. “Number two.” He stretched out the words, as if buying time. “All right, you know what I dislike about you?”
She shook her head, itching to flee the room. Why had she asked him to enumerate her faults again?
“The little mole at the top of your right thigh.”
Her chin jerked back. The…What?“Why?”
“Because it’s driving me to distraction. Last time I saw it I was on my knees in the shower, about to go down on you, and the memory has been taunting me ever since.” Color washed his cheeks. “I can’t stop thinking about your incredible body, your smooth skin, the look on your face…”
Just like that, she went up in flames.Oh. My. God.She squeezed her thighs together, barely able to breathe as she remembered him worshipping her flesh like a starving man, the sight of his head between her legs as he gave her the most intense pleasure of her life.
She managed not to whimper, but it was a close thing.
“I can’t stand the idea that I might never get to touch you like that again. It’s one of the few ways I can show you how I feel about you.” He rubbed his face and groaned, lowering his hands to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it about sex. Wanting to make love to you again doesn’t prove anything.”
Her heart felt too big for her chest, thumping against her sternum so hard that it reverberated through her entire body. “It proves you’re not repulsed by me.”
He scoffed. “As if.”
Her stomach did a little flip. She considered taking another drink of soda to ease her dry throat, but she wasn’t sure if she was jittery from the conversation or all the caffeine they’d been downing to stay awake. Rising on unsteady legs, she turned her back on Todd and gathered the takeout containers.
Putting them in the trash gave her enough time and distance to regain her bearings and calm herself. She got a glass of water and drank half of it standing in the kitchen, letting the icy liquid slide down her throat and cool her body from within. Leaning her hips against the counter, she took a deep breath and faced him across the room.
“You’re really bad at this,” she said when she could speak again, hoping she sounded more flippant than invested.
“You’re not the only one who’s scared here,” he said, softly.
Damn him. How did he see through her so easily? “Who said I’m scared?”
He gave her a knowing look. “If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be fighting so hard.”
“What makes you say that?” She set down the glass. If her hand shook, it was only because she was so tired.
“I know, because yesterday I was right where you are now.” He rose from his seat and rounded the breakfast bar, quickly eating up the space between them. Now she reallywasscared. She was fine as long as he kept his distance, but up close and personal, he had the ability to turn her resolve to dust. “I hope that means tomorrow you’ll be where I am now.”
He stood in front of her, but gripped the granite behind him the same way she was now hanging onto the edge of the counter to keep herself from doing something regrettable, like throwing her arms around his neck and confessing her love.
“I haven’t known you long enough to know which of your habits will irritate me,” he said, with a sad smile, returning to their original topic. “But it doesn’t matter. Everyone has those. It’s about choosing whose annoying habits you want to live with. I want to learn yours, and show you mine, because I’m betting you and I are so good together that all the little shit will be irrelevant.” He moved in close enough that she could feel the heat from his body, smell the soap on his skin. “I’m sorry I hadn’t figured that out last night. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Her breath caught in her throat, making it impossible to speak.
Todd filled the silence for her. “I don’t know how we’re going to work this out yet, but if we want it badly enough, I know we’ll find a way. You’re worth the risk, Lindsey. You’re worth all of it.”
