CHAPTER 12
KURT GRIMACED AS the words escaped his mouth, seemingly against his will. Caitlyn’s jaw slackened. Had he really just said—
“I know you don’t feel the same, and that you don’t want me to touch you now that we’re not pretending to be engaged anymore, but in case something happens to me tomorrow…” He took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know. That I love you.Pretty sure I always have.”
Always? Like fourteen years always?
He’d knocked the breath right out of her, but his words didn’t instill the deep terror she had expected.
Hell, she was vulnerable to him whether she pushed him away or not. Why was she running so hard from what she wanted? Had she been happier alone all these years? Had keeping her distance from those who threatened her heart madethe important people in her life any less of an Achilles heel for her? No. He had the power to hurt her even if they never kissed again.
“That’s all I had to say,” he said, filling the heavy silence with his rich voice. “No expectations or anything, no matter how this all turns out.” He shifted away from the couch and dropped his arms.
“Don’t leave,” she said, finally finding her voice as shereached out and laid her palm flat against his chest.
He went perfectly still except for the steady thump of his heart beneath her hand.
She inhaled his heady masculine scent and cleared her throat. “I don’t know about love. I’ve avoided that my whole adult life.” She placed her other hand on his chest and slid them both across to his massive biceps. “I’ve also avoided anyone who makes me feel…vulnerable.”
His inky eyes never left hers.
“For example, you,” she said. There. Maybe she wasn’t such a coward after all. He’d humbled himself before her; the least she could do was be honest in return.
“Me?” His eyebrows crashed together. “Do I intimidate you?”
She shook her head. How to explain? “No. I mean you’re obviously bigger and stronger, but I’m not talking about physical strength.” Placing onehand on her heart, she whispered, “You make me vulnerable here.”
His chin pulled back. “And you hate that.”
How did he know her so well? “More than anything. If I don’t let anyone get too close, they can’t hurt me.”
He placed his hand over hers on her chest, prodding her pulse. “That’s a lonely way to live.”
It was. It had been. “For a long time, I thought it was worth it. But all my bestefforts have failed. I’m still here at Lambert’s bidding to save my sister, because she’s part of my family. How could I not be? And I’d still do anything to keep you safe, because we’re friends and I…care.”
His eyes flickered—possibly with disappointment—but she couldn’t tell him she loved him. She didn’t know if the flutter in her belly and the vise around her heart were from love or fear.Or both. But, oh, how she wanted him.
Tonight could be their last chance. And if something happened to her, she didn’t want his last memories of them together to be of her pushing him away. Not when she wanted to touch him more than anything. Besides, if she didn’t live past the morning, it wouldn’t matter how defenseless he made her feel.
Right now, she wanted to give in to the flame of desirethat he lit within her. She wanted to truly live without any care for the wreck she might become if she fell under his spell. She glanced at his lips, unable to stop herself from giving away her goal.
His breath ceased and his gaze held as she slowly leaned in, compelled closer, as if he had his own gravity. Her skin tingled, the air turning warm between them.
She closed her eyes and pressedher mouth to his soft lips.
Every cell in her body sighed at the rightness of it. Every nerve sprang to life at the contact. She buzzed as if electrified and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close.
A low groan escaped him as their bodies met from shoulders to thighs. He deepened the kiss, tongues stroking and dueling, fanning the spark into an inferno. He tasted of desire and coconut.She wanted to strip them both naked and—
“Hang on.” She pulled back.
He frowned, but didn’t say anything. Or move.
“Sit,” she said, pointing to the couch. Would he let her take the reins?
She removed her T-shirt.
His frown vanished. He watched her with a hungry expression as he settled onto the cushions, palms flat at his sides, appearing willing to go along with whatever she had in mind.
