Knowing there’s no way around it, I grab a couple tissues from the box, and let the tears flow. Mostly, I’m hoping I can get it all out of the way before Ren gets back, but soon the opening door proves this to be a pipe dream.
“Cass,” he says as he hurries to my bedside. “Are you okay?”
I nod, not able to speak just yet. He reaches for my hand, gripping it tightly, his expression so earnest my tears immediately flow faster. He’s been an absolute rock the entire time I’ve been here, and I know it must be difficult considering I’m not the only one in pain. He may not have to deal with the physical pain of what happened to me, but that doesn’t save him from the emotional pain I know he feels.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, both my hands clutching his. “If I had ju?—”
“Don’t even say it, Cass,” he cuts me off. “Even if you hadn’t cancelled your appointment, it wasn’t until tomorrow. There’s no way anyone could’ve prevented this.”
“I know. But I can’t help but feel like I let you down. Let us down.”
He releases my hands, urges me to move over on the bed, and once I do, he climbs in beside me. Instinctively, I carefully shiftover more, moving to my side, facing away from him. He wraps himself around me, one arm under my head, the other resting over my arm and curving carefully in front of me so he resumes holding my hands, right over my heart.
Then his face is by my ear, his breath tickling my neck. Relaxing back into him, I sigh deeply, only to have a short sob escape on my exhale. At first, I try to keep it down. I try to pretend that I’m now alright, and this is alright, and everything is alright.
But it’s not. And I’m not.
My tears are silent, rolling to the side and soaking the sleeve of Ren’s shirt. They’re starting to slow, that ache in my chest easing bit-by-bit, overwhelming calm attempting to chase it away.
“I got you, babe,” he whispers, his arms tightening to the point of discomfort, but I don’t ask him to let up. If anything, I relish the feeling of him physically holding me together. Because that’s what he’s doing.
“I like it when you say that,” I whisper, my lips curving into a smile. “The first time you sent it in a text I thought it was so funny, I almost asked you if you were okay.”
He chuckles. “I was embarrassed to have said something so cheesy, so I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I love it,” I respond, grateful the tears have slowed. “Even if I hear it to the tune of Sonny and Cher.”
He groans, gives me another little squeeze. “You stop that.”
Giggling, I crane my head around so I can see his face. “Never.”
After a few more moments, I start to move around, and Ren extricates himself from the bed. “Do you think we should get one of these fancy mechanical beds for the house?”
Slowly, I ease myself to the edge of the mattress, quirking a brow at him. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know,” he responds playfully. “I bet it could come in handy under good circumstances.”
He winks at me and I shake my head, lean forward to hide my smile as I respond, “Don’t be daft,” and he laughs in response, always willing to make an ass out of himself to cheer me up.
Then my stomach cramps. I freeze, bent partway over the edge of the bed. “Can you call the nurse for me, please?”
“Are you in pain?”
I look up at him, sure my expression is a mix of horror and urgency as I mutter, “No, I’m okay, I just need the nurse.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “Can I help you?”
A bark of laughter falls out of my mouth as I respond, “Nope.”
He frowns, looks offended, so I put a hand up and add, “There are some things you really don’t need to help me with. Please believe me.”
He cocks his head, now just looks confused. “But I always want to help you.”
My stomach gurgles, then the rest of my insides gurgle as well and I reply, “Seriously, Ren. I need the nurse.”
He gives me a speculative look. “You can tell me anything, you know.
I narrow my eyes then sputter, “Yes, I know.”
