“Well, you’re the one who brought it up,” Statler gruffed, and when she looked at him, the tips of his ears were crimson, too.
Yup.Family trait.
“You’re right,” she agreed. Shehadopened this can of worms, and she was going to continue.
“And from now on, I’m going to bring it up a lot. A man your age shouldn’t be celibate. I expect, from here on in, for you to start perusing the local pool of single women, get on some dating apps, or do what it takes these days to find someone nice.”
Whatever that is.
She’d certainly lucked out that she’d run into Julian on her route, and that he’d taken initiative on getting to know her, because she never would have gone for it.
Petula was obviously no expert on these matters, but a sudden thought popped into her head.
“I know what you can do. You can enlist the help of your guys,” she said excitedly. “We both realize that Pipes is a serial-dater. Hehasto have some good pointers on how to hook up.” Petula thought for a minute, and latched onto another something that had never occurred to her before. “What about…Blue?” she asked, tentatively.
“What about her?” Statler’s head lifted and he looked puzzled. “You mean, does she date? Uh…I guess so? I’ve never really pried.”
“No,” Petula answered carefully. “I mean…what about Blue as a girlfriend? The two of you get along great, and you already know everything about each other.”
Statler looked appalled. “Ewww. How can you even…? Damn, Petti. Don’t even go there. Dating Blue would be like datingyou.”
“Okay. Okay. Sorry.”
There was no argument there. Stat was definitely telling the truth. He’d always seen Blue as one of the guys.
“Besides,” the corner of Statler’s mouth twitched upward. “I think Diz has a thing for her.”
“Dizzy?” Petula couldn’t keep the astonishment out of her voice. “Irreverent Diz? With Blue?”
The man was a perpetual joker, king of the one-liners, and purveyor of the worst “dad jokes” she’d ever heard. She couldnotsee him with the mostly serious, facts-always-matter, Blue.
“Yeah. I’ve been catching those vibes lately, but don’t let on. I’m pretty sure everyone on the crew suspects. Except Blue who’s plainly clueless. And knowing Dizzy, he wants to keep it that way for the good of their working relationship.”
“Damn. You guys.” Petula shook her head. “What are you all doing? Purposely sabotaging your love lives?” She wanted to pull out her hair. Why hadn’t she intervened in this before?Was it because a slumbering part of her had been awakened by Julian? Was it because she was beginning to understand just how exciting a potential partner could be?
Or maybe…
Wait.Had the majority of the crew been keeping her in the dark about their love lives on purpose because of her rocky past?
“This… This reticence to talk love-lives has nothing to do with me, right?” Petula needed clarification.
Statler shifted a little in his seat. “The, uh, guys actually don’t speak about dating around you because they think it might make you uncomfortable.” He quickly clarified. “Except for Pipes, who tends to boast. But his narratives are usually dished out in such an over-the-top way, you’ve been able to see the humor in them, which is the point.
“The other guys’ liaisons, though, when they have them, are…quick and sparse, and never get mentioned.”
“And you?” Petula asked.
“Me? I’m not afraid to date because you might get triggered. I feel like you’ve gotten beyond that,” Statler assured her immediately. “My lack of…relationships is more due to?—”
“Misguided chivalry,” Petula supplied snarkily, interrupting. “You’ve gamed it all out. You don’t want to fall for someone, then have to leave me behind if you decide to get married and have a family.”
Statler slumped back against the couch cushions.
“Fine. You’ve got me. But that’s just normal, brotherly concern,” he amended, “andmyshit to worry about.”
There was a lot to unravel here. “First,” Petula laid out, “let’s deal with your crew. Will you tell them that I’m pissed? That I want them to date, then fill me in about it?”
“I will, but understand. The lack of actual significant others in their lives is less about you, and more about our current work schedule,” Stat assured her. “You know how much we’re gone.Like with this factory job that I’m ninety-nine percent sure we’re getting, now. We’ll be away for months, with only weekend visits back to the area. What serious partner is going to put up with that schedule?”
