He knew he was guilty of enjoying their “no-strings” lifestyle. Things had been rolling along so easily—continuing without defined parameters that…why would he want to change anything?
But the pressure was now on, and Trask was obviously going to have to face some home-truths.
Did he care for Jett?
Of course he did. What wasn’t to like? She was amazing.
But she was also messy—her clothes never making it to the hamper. And she was…
Shit.The list he mentally compiled of her foibles could go on and on.
She was disorganized if she didn’t have a set task for the day. She could waste incredible amounts of time perseverating giddily over the smallest thing; like which kind of dog food to buy for her pups at the super-store, or what color socks she should wear for the day. Nothing was ever urgent, unless she threw the invisible switch inside her that pivoted her from civilian to pilot, PJ, or diver. Then she was as serious as fuck.
The rest?
It drove him nuts.
Or at least it had. At first.
Was he seriously coming to find those quirky qualities…almost endearing?
Dammit. Yes.
But in the long-term…
Uh, uh. Too risky.He knew, better than most, that those borderline-appealing attributes could turn on a dime and bite him in the ass.
“So, what do you want from me?” Trask asked gruffly, almost nauseated over the discussion and the whole internal debate it had fomented. If he let Jett in, he was opening himself up to a lot of potential pain. But if he shut her down, she’d no longer be in his life in the capacity to which he’d become accustomed. Both choices sucked.
He waited for her to elucidate.
“I want to talk.Reallytalk,” she told him belligerently. “I want to know how you feel about things. Abouteverything. How are you dealing with being out of the Marines? Have you decided what your time split will eventually be between Diver Downeast and your family lumber mill? What are your desires for a place to live, and when will you make a move? Do you see us as sharing a place to live? Of us having any kind of future together?”
The last two questions were clearly the ones that had been harping at her, and he’d been a fool to think he’d been able to hold them off.
“I’m…a private kind of guy,” he began, trying to put into words exactly who he was. “I don’t share ‘feelings’ a lot, and when I do, I’m usually disappointed with how that goes.” He wasn’t going to elaborate on that one. “I’m set in my ways after being in the service for so long, and I’m not sure I can give any more of myself than what I’ve already offered you. I don’t know where our association is going, because you have to make thatcall; whether or not you can accept me as I am. I’ve shown you all I can be, and you’ll either decide to take it or leave it.”
For someone who was almost always in charge of the way events unfolded, Trask was nervous at howthiswould play out, because he had no control over Jett’s ultimate decisions.
They pulled up to his parents’ house, but neither of them got out. The air inside the truck was charged.
“Will weeverlet your family know that we’re ‘seeing each other’?” she questioned. “When you start your house hunt again, will I be included in the equation?” she inquired equally as bluntly.
Well, hell.Those should be easy questions, but they were not.
If Trask let his family embrace Jett as his girlfriend, the pressure would be on. They’d have him married with kids in approximately four-point-two seconds. And that was a hard no. He would not let pressure from others, skew his decisions.Nobody, he’d vowed a few months back, would determine the trajectory of his life from here on out, except him.
And as for Jett moving in with him…?
That would give her far too much leverage over him. If they shared a living space, she’d eventually take over. The house would inevitably become a mess, and so would he.
“I, uh, don’t think we have to declare anything to my family quite yet, since what we’ve got going on is…a fun interlude that doesn’t necessarily concern them. And when I look for a house,” he stated magnanimously, “your opinion will certainly be nice. But since I’m the one who will end up living there, your approval isn’t exactly crucial. You’ll visit a lot, I hope. But you’ll have your own place, so…”
“Yup. That’s what I thought,” Jett responded, removing her seatbelt. She got out abruptly and strode up the shoveled pathway.
“Hey,” he called out as he followed, not sure exactly what more he could say.
Why was she so upset? Hadn’t she known all this, before?
