“I’ll still be an artist when I marry James,” I say softly. “It’s not just about the money. I want a family. I want a baby. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Maybe it’s because mine died when I was so young, but I want this.”
“And you feel safe?” Cat asks in a quiet voice. “You’re not being coerced?”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
“Are you attracted to him?” Pippa asks.
I bite my lip. James is handsome, there’s no doubt about that. As a painter, I admire the shape of his features—his hooded blue eyes, the Cupid’s bow over a full lower lip, the strong chinand cheekbones that make his face look slightly hollowed. His thick brows and dark hair are trimmed, but not overly so.
There’s something so restrained about him, though. I wonder if he’s ever able to fully let go, or if he’ll be mechanical in bed. Going through the motions, getting the job done without any passion.
I hope not. I hope that under his buttoned-up exterior, there’s at least a little desire for me.
Pippa’s still looking at me expectantly, so I give her the best answer I can. “Sort of.”
She frowns. “What do you mean, you’resort ofattracted to him?”
“I mean, the packaging is nice. He’s a good-looking man. I’m just not sure if there’s any chemistry there.”
Except for that kiss on the cheek back in the café. When I got that close to him, my fingers gripping his lapel, I felt…something. A little, tiny spark. I just don’t know if we can grow that to something bigger yet.
“I don’t know if I could get married to someone I wasn’t having good sex with,” Pippa muses.
“Maybe the sex will be great,” Cat says encouragingly. “They’re both gorgeous. And if there’s not any chemistry at first, it can grow.”
I see Pippa and Brinley exchange glances. Clearly, they don’t share Cat’s optimism.
It doesn’t matter, I remind myself. If there’s no sexual chemistry, I’m sure we can at least fake it long enough to get the job done. All I really want from our relationship is respect and stability—something I’m not sure the other girls can really relate to. They all plan or hope to marry the love of their lives, while I’m happy with someone who can make the rest of my life easy and pleasant.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve thought this through,” says Pippa. “I mean, I’m dating my stepbrother and I’ve never been happier. Maybe a traditional relationship is overrated.”
“And I know James,” Cat says. “He’s not the warmest person, but I think he’s a good guy and I don’t think he’d ever hurt you. As long as you’re safe, then I respect your decision.”
We all look at Brinley, who groans.
“Well, of course I respect your autonomy, Maura,” she says, crossing her arms. “It’s just messed up that your dad even proposed this, like you’re just a thing he can trade and sell. I hate men who think like that. It’s like we’re not even people to them. We’re just things to help them get what they want.”
“That’s my father,” I admit. “But I’m not sure James is like that.”
“He signed the contract, didn’t he?” she snaps.
“Because he knew Maura wanted it,” Cat says gently.
“He made sure I did,” I add. “He made sure we had a private meeting before the contract was signed, so he could be sure.”
Brinley sighs. “Look, I’ll stand with you through anything Maura—if you want to shave your head, if you wanna move to Antarctica, if you wanna turn to a life of crime, then I’ll be the Thelma to your Louise. I just—” Her voice breaks, and she pauses to take a breath. “I want to make sure you know that you’re more than a trading card. You’re an artist with an incredible mind, with a vision and a warm heart. You deserve someone who sees you for all of that, and frankly, I don’t think that’s what you’re getting.”
Tears burn in the back of my eyes, and I blink them back. Brinley’s the person whose support I wanted the most, and I don’t think I’ll ever fully get it.
“Will you still come to the wedding?” I ask.
She softens. “Yes. Yes, of course I will.”
“And you’ll be my maid of honor?”
“Yes!” she squeals.
“Come on, hug each other!” Cat cries.
