“How much do you remember from yesterday?” the doctor asks.
“I remember going to the quarry.” I bite my lip, trying to think back. “That's the last thing I remember, looking at stones.”
“You passed out on the walk back,” he explains. “You had a cardiac episode, similar to the ones you’ve had before.”
My eyes start back to James. There's no surprise in his expression.
He knows.
Shit.
“I assume you know the risk of taking that hike,” Dr. Dimakos says sternly. “With your underlying condition, you can't afford to be so careless. Especially not now. Your blood work told us that you’re pregnant.”
“I’m pregnant? Really?” I echo. “Are you sure?”
The sternness in his expression lightens. “Yes. The hormone levels in your test were confirmed to be elevated.”
It takes another minute to sink in. Then joy and hope ripple from my damaged heart through my chest, my limbs, then shining from my fingers and toes. We did it. After everything, my baby’s finally, miraculously here.
Of course, I knew this was a possibility. I'm at the right part of my cycle. I've just been so busy with the gallery show and travel, I wasn't thinking as much about trying to conceive. Plus, I think a part of me was afraid to hope again. It was better to distract myself than to dream about a baby that might never come.
But it has come. It’s here.
My hands move automatically to my stomach. Through the thin hospital gown, it feels the same as it always does. It's far too early for me to show, but part of me still expected for my body to be different somehow. Changed.
“I spoke with your doctor back in Toronto,” Dr. Dimakos continues. “I know you discussed a possible pregnancy with him in the past, so forgive me if I'm repeating him. Your condition makes this pregnancy high risk. Not only is there increased risk for your baby, there’s increased risk for you. That means any unnecessary stress and exertion could be dangerous, for both of you.”
Guilt swells through me. I might have been willing to risk my own health on that hike, but I never would have risked my baby’s. I didn't think, and it might've cost me everything.
“I know,” I murmur.
The doctor nods. “I don't think bedrest will be necessary, but you need to avoid any stressors. Even if everything goes perfectly, there's a high chance that this will be your first and only pregnancy.”
My teeth sink into my lower lip. I've heard this before, from Dr. Markovic, but it feels more real while I'm actually carrying a baby. If I can’t keep this one, I might not get another. My fingers tighten on my stomach instinctively, and I tear them away, like that small pressure might make the difference.
“Does Dr. Markovic wants to change my medication?” I ask dully.
“He doesn't think it's necessary. Some of the medicines carry a small risk, but it's low compared to the risk of stopping treatment.”
“How long do you want me to stay?” I ask. “James has a meeting in Athens in a few?—”
“It’s canceled.” His voice snaps through the air like a whip. “It doesn’t matter.”
My heart clenches. If it weren't for his tone, they would be the words of a thoughtful and caring husband. I know better. James is furious with me.
“We hope to release you in the next few days,” Dr. Dimakos says. “For now, we want to monitor you and make sure you're stable. If there are no incident in the next twenty-four hours, I'm comfortable letting you go back to your villa, with medical supervision.”
“No,” James says firmly. “She'll stay here. I don't want her away from the clinic, in case something happens.”
“I understand,” the doctor says.
The pit in my stomach only grows. James is looking for a way to put distance between us. He'll have to return to the villa eventually, which means he can leave me here, as far away from him as he can safely bear.
“Do you have any other questions?” the doctor asks.
I shake my head. “No. Thank you for all you've done.”
The door clicks shut behind as he exits, leaving me alone with James. For a long moment, my husband stares silently downat his folded hands. Then, after what feels like an eternity, he finally turns to me. Fatigue lines his face as he stares at me, his eyes the iciest blue.
