I grab Natasha’s hips and guide her onto my length. She’s my home—so tight and wet, I can feel my shaft pulse with each beat of my heart.
Her first thrust threatens to undo me. “Fast and hard, baby.”
“No.” Natasha braces her hands on the mattress and lowers herself down to press her lips to one of my nipples. Her tongue laves over the hard nub. I’m on fire for her, every kiss stoking the flames.
Natasha’s hips move so slowly, it’s pure torture. I try to reach for her, but she pins my wrists to the bed. “Not this time, Doc. This is for me.”
I’ll give her anything she wants. Everything. Including my heart.
Her lips skim the edge of each bruise. Each scrape. Each part of me that thought I’d never be happy again.
She guides one of my hands to her mound. “Touch me, Doc.”
I rub my thumb over her clit. The little button rises to meet my touch. Her weeping channel starts to tense around me. She quickens her pace until she’s slamming into me. I match her thrust for thrust.
I’m so close. My balls draw up tight. My release rockets from the base of my spine. With one last pinch to Natasha’s clit, I take her over the edge with me.
I’m notsure I can move. Nor do I want to. Natasha is pressed to my side, her head resting on my shoulder. She plays with my chest hair, a soft smile curving her lips. But there’s a sadness to her entire being.
“Talk to me, baby.”
“I’ve never felt like this before.” She peers up at me, her gray eyes shimmering.
“Like what?” I ask.
“Safe. And…” she drops her voice to a whisper, “loved.” She’s so gentle as she seals her lips to mine. Tender. And it hits me. She’s saying goodbye.
It doesn’t matter that it won’t happen today. Or even tomorrow. A part of her heart is already shuttered. She’s leaving me bit by bit and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Fuck. I wish I could bring her back to me. But I can see it in her eyes. She’s made up her mind. All I can do now is make sure those assholes never touch her and hope that one day, she’ll come back to me.
Natasha
I said it. Well, almost.
“I love you” was too hard. I can’t even be sure Idolove him. But I do know he makes me feel loved. He makes me feel so many things I thought I’d never feel again.
Protected. Cared for. Safe.
Now, we sit on the couch, his arm around my shoulders, with a movie on the flat screen TV.
Doc made chicken piccata, and as he cooked, we talked. Favorite books and movies, stories from various deployments, funny stories from childhood. We sat across from one another at the table, shared a bottle of sparkling soda, had ice cream sandwiches for dessert. It was so damn normal. And I loved every minute of it.
On the quick shopping trip with Inara, I was able to pick clothesIwanted—including these purple yoga pants and a soft, pink tank—and I almost feel likemeagain for the first time in years.
Except for the overwhelming sadness at knowing I’ll have to leave Doc soon. Not tonight, though. Tonight, I want—no, I need—to soak up as much of his presence as I can.
On screen, two of the characters battle against an invading horde of robots trying to kill all of humanity. “Clancy had a couple of movie channels, but I’ve never heard of this franchise. Clearly, I’ve missed a lot.”
Doc chuckles. “I watch a lot of baseball in the summer. But in the winter, it’s all action movies and documentaries. We’ll catch up.”
We. God. I want there to be a “we.” And a future where we can “catch up” on all thelifeI’ve missed over the years.
“I like sci-fi. And Gladys got me hooked on true crime.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Doc presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I can do true crime and sci-fi. I’ll do anything as long as you’re with me.”
From the slight edge to his voice, he knows. But he’s not calling me on it. Whatever it is I feel for him...it just took another step toward love.
