The raw edge to his voice is the God’s honest truth, so why did I think he was lying before?
Pushing the thought aside, I cup his cheek, lean in, and brush my lips to his. “I spent a long damn time wishin’ I’d been the one…in that godawful storm.”
“Tell me about him,” Nash says. “Brooks. What was he like?”
“I…can’t. Not when I’m naked in bed with…you.” Tears prick at my eyes. Thinking about the man I loved for half my life when I’m starting to fall for someone else ain’t right.
Shoving my emotions down so deep they can’t hurt me is getting harder every day.
Nash gathers me in his arms. I could get used to his warmth. To his scent. To the way he holds me. “Raelynn, when was the last time you let anyone see you? The real you.”
I can’t give him an answer. Not one I’m proud of, anyway.
“I’ve been alone most of my life,” he says quietly. With my head tucked under his chin, I can’t see the anguish on his face, but it bleeds through his tone. “I haven’t been with anyone in…five years? Maybe six.” He tightens his hold, and I don’t protest the closeness. “I know what it’s like to pretend you don’t need anyone.”
“We could stop.”
Fuck. Why did I say that?
He sucks in a sharp breath. “I…can’t.”
Shifting so I can meet his gaze, I find panic. Fear. Pain. Everything I’m feeling, but so much more.
“If I can try…so can you. Stop runnin’. Put down roots here. We could…see where this goes.”
“You don’t know how much I want that,” he whispers. “But it’s not possible.”
“You’re a grown-ass man, Nash. Pretty sure you’re capable of decidin’ where you hang your hat and for how long.”
He looks like a lost puppy. All sad eyes and sorrow. He can’t even meet my gaze when he stands and starts hunting for the rest of his clothes. “I…uh…don’t have a smart phone. Can you call me a taxi? Or a Lyft? I have cash. I can pay you back.”
“No. Get back in bed.” Turning away, I shut off the light and lie down. The lump in my throat warns me I’m about to break. I tried to let him in—I would have told him anything he wanted to know—and he won’t do the same for me. “I’m tired, Nash. I’ll drive you home in the mornin’.”
He doesn’t move. In the darkness, I can barely make out his profile. But his shoulders slump and I think I hear his jeans hit the floor. A few seconds later, the mattress dips.
I should keep my distance. But his heavy sigh does me in. Rolling over, I drape my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. “What are you runnin’ from, Nash?”
His entire body stiffens for a single breath before he gets himself under control. “Nothing.”
I could call him on the lie. I should call him on it. But he feels so good next to me, I can’t. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. If this is all I can have of him, I’ll take it. Until I wake up one day, and he’s gone.
Nash
Dawn’s gray light illuminates the room when I open my eyes. Raelynn’s tangled locks tickle my chin. She’s tucked against my chest, wrapped tightly in my arms.
I woke up once in the middle of the night to find myself curled around her lithe, warm body, and despite knowing I should leave, I couldn’t force myself to let her go. Even with her words playing on a loop in my head.
“What are you running from, Nash?”
Everything. My past. My future. A real connection with this woman who’s everything that’s been missing from my life for more than twenty years.
This was a mistake. One hot, mind-blowing, perfect mistake. And I want it to happen again and again and again.
Harsh beeping makes us both jerk, and Raelynn groans. Swiping her phone from the nightstand, she taps the screen and blinks up at me, her lids heavy from sleep. “Sorry…”
Fuck. Her voice is a thousand times sexier first thing in the morning. “How long do we have?”
With a chuckle, she slides her hand over the bulge in my briefs. Her fingers are soft, warm, and gentle. So unlike mine. “Just long enough.”
